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Killer Confidence, Shorts, and Feeling like Beyoncé

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Photo by Abi Q Photography of Sarah (working that felt hat) styled by Melanie Kluger

When I first met Melanie, she walked in wearing a straw fedora and a killer smile and I instantly knew I not only wanted to work with her, I wanted to be her friend.  We are totally cut from the same cloth.  Catch us shopping for a photoshoot together and you can’t tell if it’s two best friends on a mall extravaganza or two co-workers planning next week’s shoot.  That’s because we are doing both.  Melanie has been my stylist for the past three years.  We have worked together on everything from speaking engagements and photoshoots, to personal shopping and closet makeovers.

Through working with Melanie I now have the tools to put together outfits that are uniquely me and make me feel fantastic.  She pushed me out of my comfort zone but in such a nice way that I didn’t even realize it was happening.  All of a sudden I was in a fur vest and loving it.  She has transformed my closet, my outlook on clothing and my love for bangles.  Working with her has made me more polished and confident when I start my day. So glad she’s here today to talk to you ladies about developing confidence through clothes. 

From Melanie:

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Ever see a picture of a girl and think, “I want to look just like her”.  We have all been there, had a total girl crush. Chances are, that girl in the picture is not just pretty, or cool, but she’s exuding confidence.  She might also be rocking a killer pair of shorts.  How does she do it?  Those ladies usually have one thing in common.  They are truly self confident.  You may think it’s the fedora she’s wearing that you wish you could pull off.  But the actual culprit that is making you want to be her bestie is her self assured presence.  As a former costume designer I can tell you first hand, that if an actress didn’t like what she was wearing, it showed on stage.  Just in their attitude, they were telling the audience “I don’t feel good in this.”  That is where I first started to notice a trend among women.  CONFIDENCE IS EVERYTHING.  Whether it is for an actress, a bride, or an entrepreneur, my ultimate styling goal is the same. To make you feel amazing in your clothes.  So, how do we get said confidence?  Well, I’m here to tell you.

First of all, let’s talk about your favorite item of clothing.  Now think about how you feel when you wear it.  That is how I want you to feel in all of your clothes. When I wear my favorite outfit I know I’m going to have a good day.  I put that energy out into the world without even realizing it.  From the moment I get dressed until the moment I come home I am giving off the “I look amazing and I know it vibe.”   Think about what would happen if you felt that way every time you walked out your door.  Pretty amazing, right?

There are a few small steps that will help make you exude that self-confidence we all crave.

1) Step one is going to sound basic. But it’s crucial.  Let me break it down.  Shower. Hair. Makeup.  There is absolutely NO way to feel fantastic if you have greasy hair.  As a new mom I totally get that it can be tricky to always find the time for a beauty routine.  But trust me, you will be so happy you made the effort in the morning. It can be as simple as a quick shower, top knot and some lip gloss, or as time-consuming as a blow-out with full makeup.  Whatever you have time for, but a little effort is imperative.

2) Making the outfit complete.  One thing I love working with clients on is accessorizing.  Accessories can turn a look from blah to polished in a pinch.  It also will make you feel more “put together”.  I’m a firm believer that you get more compliments on your outfit when you have accessories on.  And nothing builds self-confidence more than compliments.  Nothing!

3) Whatever your favorite body part is, flaunt it. Whatever your favorite body part is, flaunt it.  Work it. Shake what yo mama gave ya.  Why do you think people love Beyoncé so much?  Is it because of her amazing highlights in Destiny’s Child?  Well… it might have started there but that’s not the point I was trying to make.  It’s because she is SELLING IT HARD.  Her inner beauty shines through because it is clear that she loves herself, her body and her life.

Oh, what’s that? You’d like to see an example. BOOM. Here is Beyoncé with her hair and makeup done, wearing short shorts with accessories to spare. Love it.

beyonce in shorts

http://www.denimblog.com/2009/03/celebs-in-denim-shorts-addition/beyonce-rr-shorts-2-2/

So now comes the hard part.  The same way we were envisioning our favorite outfit, now I want you to pinpoint something that you haven’t worn because you lacked the self-confidence to do so.  Whether it’s a pair of shorts or a tight red dress I want you to go out and ROCK that outfit.  Now, you might be saying “but this pencil skirt isn’t flattering”.  Or, “Green doesn’t look right on my skin tone.”  And to comments like this I am going to say the least “stylist” thing I could possibly say.  None of that matters as long as it makes you feel good.  I’m just not the kind of stylist who sticks to rules.  Yes, of course if you really don’t like v-necks then don’t wear them.  But if you have always wanted to wear a straw hat or a fuschia lipstick, or a sparkly dress, do it!  I have a feeling you will surprise yourself and ultimately feel quite liberated.

When I went to Wikipedia and looked up the definition of “self confident”, this is what it said:

 When one does not dwell on negative consequences one can be more ‘self-confident’ because one is worrying far less about failure or the disapproval of others following potential failure. One is then more likely to focus on the actual situation which means that enjoyment and success in that situation is also more probable. 

WOW.   Pretty mind blowing stuff, am I right?  It starts with a pair of shorts and ends with enjoyment and success.  Tweet it!

In true Sarah Jenks fashion, I’m giving you homework.  I’d like you to take an item out of your closet that makes you feel amazing.  Take a picture and instagram it, facebook it, tweet it, share it with the world.  Make sure to use the hashtag #confidentstyle and tag @sarahejenks and @hohwithmelanie. And when you see someone else’s Instagram post, comment on it!

Let’s all help each other on this journey to self-confidence.

I talk a lot more about self-confidence through clothes in my FREE Style Guide “How to Style a T Shirt and Jeans”. In this guide, you will learn how to go jeans shopping for your body type, the right t-shirt to buy, as well as three ways to style them to perfection.  Stick with me and you will feel well versed in the art of creating a look from head to toe.  If you put in the work, you will undoubtedly see instant results and your confidence will start to soar.  Head right here to get all the goods.

If you would like to work with me personally on how to gain confidence through your wardrobe, I would absolutely love to be a part of your journey. Click here so we can start the transformation.

Love,

Melanie

 

16 Comments

  1. Melanie · August 14, 2014 at 12:18 pm · Reply

    Thanks so much for having me today Sarah! xoxo

    • Sarah Jenks · August 14, 2014 at 2:32 pm · Reply

      So glad you were able to join us! xoxo

  2. Alyson · August 14, 2014 at 12:47 pm · Reply

    I love this babysitter Sarah! Melanie thanks for the reminder that what we put out there is what will be reflected back to us. When I feel like a I’m lookin’ good my days flows so much better and I have more FUN! Thank you for the reminder :)

    • Sarah Jenks · August 14, 2014 at 2:32 pm · Reply

      Alyson, isn’t Melanie just fantastic?!?!?!

    • Melanie · August 27, 2014 at 2:10 am · Reply

      Thanks for the love Alyson! Yes! Absolutely! Isn’t that what it’s all about?

  3. Andrea · August 14, 2014 at 1:38 pm · Reply

    LOVE this! Something I have been trying to work on for over a year now. I have no “sense of style” and have never been a “girly girl” or knew how to put outfits together. This past year I decided – I don’t care if I know how to follow the rules, I don’t care if it’s not “fashionable” I started piecing together outfits that are uniquely me and I feel fabulous in – it’s done WONDERS for my confidence and I’ve gotten tons of compliments! Wonderful advice!

    • Sarah Jenks · August 14, 2014 at 2:33 pm · Reply

      So great, Andrea! Most times we get in our own way and all the things we tell ourselves are absolutely not true! Be sure to share a pic with us on FB or Instagram of your favorite outfit!

    • Melanie · August 27, 2014 at 1:53 am · Reply

      Andrea, this makes me so happy. You completely understand where I’m coming from! Personal style is all about creating looks that make you feel uniquely you. I’m sure you look amazing. Rock it girl! I’d love to see one of your looks! Tag me on IG @hohwithmelanie.

  4. Meghan · August 14, 2014 at 4:01 pm · Reply

    Perfect timing! Love you guys :)

    • Sarah Jenks · August 17, 2014 at 7:38 pm · Reply

      So glad you liked this one, Meghan! xo, Sarah

    • Melanie · August 27, 2014 at 1:50 am · Reply

      Thanks Meghan! So glad this one hit home at the right time! xoxo

  5. Georgie · August 15, 2014 at 11:10 pm · Reply

    Such great blog babysitters Sarah! I particularly love point 1 (the most basic!). I don’t have kids but I find if I don’t start my ‘working from home’ days or weekend days out with a shower/nice outfit/a touch of makeup, I’m likely to be in a slump for the day or descend into unintended laziness. This post got me in the shower this morning and out for brunch!

    • Sarah Jenks · August 17, 2014 at 7:39 pm · Reply

      Awesome, Georgie!

      Isn’t it so great how our days really flow when we start off by putting in the extra effort to take care of ourselves in the morning?!?!

      xo,
      Sarah

    • Melanie · August 27, 2014 at 1:50 am · Reply

      Georgie! That’s amazing! So glad this post got you motivated. It totally changes your entire day.

  6. Ritu - fashion blogger turned coach · August 25, 2014 at 3:20 am · Reply

    Sarah and Melanie, I love this post! I had pretty fierce style when I lived in NYC and London (those cities will do that to you) and even had a successful fashion blog but now I’ve turned 30 and moved to the laid back surf town Manly, near Sydney Australia and my fearless fashion has gone OUT THE WINDOW! Any tips to revive my fearlessness from my early 20s? xx Ritu

    • Melanie · August 27, 2014 at 1:48 am · Reply

      Ritu! I totally get it! It’s hard to find that inner fashionista when you live in a new place. And a laid back surf town is gonna have a different vibe than NYC and London! But you still have it in you. I know it! I would take some time to see what inspires you and who you are now. Don’t focus on who you used to be. I found my style changed when I turned 30 as well. Learn what your personal style wants to be by your surroundings and let yourself create it. It’s pretty exciting because you can have any style you want. You just have to own it! So take that old big city confidence and translate it into the new you! Rock it!

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