My life after baby. How I make it happen (kind of).

A friend of mine recently asked me what my life looks like post baby. How do I get work done? How do I take care of myself? How to do I be a Mom without going crazy?

You may think this is a story about motherhood, but in reality it’s a story about strategy and focus, so even if you don’t have kids, I know you will find this super helpful.

I always like hearing how other people do things, and then I can take what works and change was doesn’t. This is by no means the only way to live, it’s just a way.  As you’re reading this, I want you to think about what you like and more importantly, what you don’t like so you can craft your ideal day.

This is what I strive for in my life. I probably get it right 70% of the time. The other 30% I’m a mess and try to judge a successful day by if my baby is still alive.  And what they don’t tell you is that keeping a human alive and relatively comfortable is A LOT of work.

Overall snapshot of the week:

I work Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday and spend Monday, Friday and the weekend with Marshall. Jonathan and I go out once a week, and I try to go out to a girls dinner once a week, but in reality this happens more like twice a month.

Working Days:

Marshall wakes me up around 7am. I nurse him and we hang out in bed for thirty minutes to an hour. This is my favorite part of the day.  I try really hard not to pick up my phone, but being totally present is something I really want to work on. Any tips? Leave them in the comments below.

At 7:45am-ish, I make myself and Marshall breakfast while he plays on the floor or goes in his jumpy thingy.  We eat together, sing a lot and hang out.

Around 8:30 (I’m usually late though), I bring Marshall to our nanny share two blocks away (a nanny share is when one nanny watches two babies at the same time. I wanted Marshall to be over at the other house 100% of the time so I can have the house to myself).

After I drop off Marshall, I move my body.  Currently I’m enjoying dancing, Pop Physique and long walks. Then I come home, shower and have a little me-time. Sometimes it’s reading a magazine, sometimes it’s getting my nails done.

At noon I am in full blown work mode. I ALWAYS go to a cafe. I work till I’m hungry, eat without distractions and then go back to work until 5.  This time is super focused, no Facebook, just work.  And if I have time I will answer emails at the end of the day.

At 5pm, I pick up Marshall and usually meet my mom friends at the playground or we’ll get together at one of our houses and have happy hour.  Being a mom can be very isolating so I try very hard to spend as much time with other moms as possible.

At 6pm, we come home and I feed Marshall dinner and then go into his bedtime routine, bath, books, breastfeed, bed.  He is usually out by 7:30/7:45 and stays asleep (thank you sleep training).

I then sit for a bit and have a bit more me time (like 15 minutes) before I pull a quick dinner together.  Jonathan gets home between 7pm and 8:30pm, he does all my dishes from the day and helps me with dinner. We eat around 8:30, talk, snuggle on the couch and start getting ready for bed around 10.

Days with Marshall:

After our morning routine, Marshall takes a nap at 9am and he sleeps from an hour to 90 minutes (again thank you sleep training) during that time I shower and read a magazine.

I always meet up with friends for lunch and afterwards I’m open to possibilities!

Sometimes I take Marshall for an urban hike (hitting all the San Francisco hills) in the running stroller. I’d like to say that I run with him, but it’s happened twice in the past 6 months.  Sometimes we go to the park, sometimes to a museum.  I’ve also ended up at the beach and at a bar! I love having this unstructured time.

You may notice a few things missing…

Errands, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry. I hire all of this out. When I had Marshall my mother helped me understand that I am mother, not a maid (I’m so grateful she was a role model for me in this way).  If you’re interested in learning more about how to hack this, and make the money you need to make this a reality for you, you’ll have to join us for LIVE FREE next weekend! Seriously, you should just look at flights, we have a few spots left.

AND, this isn’t as easy at it sounds…

Almost every day I feel like I didn’t get enough done, and I didn’t get enough time with Marshall. Some days I am absolutely exhausted and close to tears because I’ve been with Marshall alone all day and he was having some terrible teething induced, three hour fit.  I don’t think any Mom ever feels like she has the perfect balance, but it’s still important to try.  And this schedule took a lot of trial and error and I’m sure will change again and again.

But even though there isn’t a perfect solution, and things always change, having a schedule is very important and here’s why: Without a schedule that matches your desires and priorities, you are going to feel seriously stressed out, which leads to overeating, and you will never be “on top of things” enough to create the life you really desire. You end up feeling like things are spiraling out of control and you’re going to wake up one day and wonder, “how has all this time gone by and I feel like I’ve done so much but accomplished nothing?”

So now I have a big job for you.  I want you to write out your ideal day and post it in the comments below.  This will give all of us inspiration AND help us hold you accountable.

I can’t wait to see what your schedule is like.

Sarah

photo credit: Krista Marie Photography