I Used to Identify as an Overweight Workaholic

I used to identify as an overweight workaholic. A big part of my identity was that I grew up being chubby, and was bullied for it for years. I carved out a place for myself in the world by being smart and a hard worker. As I grew into adulthood, there were many times that my work ethic cannibalized my happiness and relaxation. Feeling stressed and anxious felt normal. Being constantly at war with my body felt normal. It became who I was, no matter how hard I tried to heal those identities, they kept snapping back like a rubber band.

Then I started to understand the patriarchy and its campaign to erase the Sacred Feminine. I started to see that being an “overweight workaholic” wasn’t a part of who I was, it was the result of my brainwashing.

So if that wasn’t me, what was?

I started to spend more time with my Soul and less time trying to fix my brainwashing. My soul and I connected through ritual, ceremony, circling with women, being in nature, singing and drumming, and going on pilgrimage.

My soul got louder and louder and I started to know her – to know the truth of who I am.

The more I understood about how the patriarchy works, The more I could identify the parts of me that I thought were ME but were actually a disguise I slipped into because I lived in a culture that teaches women to be obedient and to feel a little bit like shit all the time.

Now I take care of my body completely differently and the vessel I live in is changing, and my work is fueled by joy and creativity. Of course, there are still things to work through, there always will be, but my attachments to those identities are so much looser.

Take a minute to ask yourself, what parts of you do you take on as your identity that could actually be brainwashing?

Loving you.

Sarah