Are you losing weight so men will like you?

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I had something else entirely planned for today. Then my friend Liz DiAlto, founder of Wild Soul Movement sent out an article to her readers that blew me away.  What she said is such an important differentiation that so many of us miss, that I miss sometimes.

I want to share part of it with you, from Liz:

I did a podcast interview last week with Jessica Kupferman from Lady Business Radio.

During the call she shared that her daughter’s high school has a really strict dress code. OK, that seems like it may be reasonable. But then she dropped this bomb,

That the girls are told they can’t wear certain things because it distracts the boys.

And then she dropped this bomb,

That her daughter’s male principal called her out on not wearing a bra and told her she had to wear one.

Are you kidding me?

The message being communicated here is, “Your body is an object and it is a distraction.”

The other morning I attended a “Power Breakfast” in NYC where a big magazine Editor-in-Chief interviewed a beautiful actress. 

When asked about body image she said, “Men will sleep with you whether you’re fat, skinny, tattooed…” the implication being, the only reason to struggle with our bodies is so we feel worthy of attracting a man.

I cringed.

When I asked what her practices are to stay connected to herself and discern between what’s hers and what isn’t in such a profession, she talked about getting quiet and connecting with how she feels. I was really glad to hear that.

She also spoke beautifully about being a mom, that experience and how ultimately, body image shouldn’t even be a thing, “It’s already done,” she said. Which I interpreted to mean just accept yourself the way you are.

But then she threw in, “There is a reason for our breasts other than to satisfy a man…” And I cringed again at the implication that pleasing a man is a top priority for women. Gah!

For the rest of Liz’s article, click here.

When I was in the throws of my emotional eating, I was absolutely perplexed as to why Jonathan wanted to be with me and never let him see me completely naked, even after being together for years.  Even now I have thoughts of, “what if he isn’t attracted to me anymore?”  But then I catch myself, taking care of my body isn’t about him loving me, he loves me no matter what, it’s about ME loving me.  It’s amazing how engrained this way of thinking is.

This Tuesday, September 23rd at 8pm ET / 5pm PT, Liz and I are hosting a free coaching call to talk about how taking care of your body is for YOUR enjoyment. How sex is for YOUR enjoyment.  How owning your beauty is about YOU feeling confident and powerful.  We’re also going to be covering a bunch of other topics that may make you squirm or scream with happiness.  To join us visit

Today, I want you to think about how you can reclaim your body and stop making it about everyone else. I’d love for you to leave a comment about how you’re going to make this shift.

And I hope to see you on Tuesday.

Lots of love,


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