21
Aug 2014

Want to lose weight more than anything?

lose weight blog

I got an email from an old client telling me that she appreciated everything that I was doing, trying to get women to create an amazing life, “but I really just want to lose weight, that’s what I want more than anything.”

I’ve been known to give a little tough love so I responded with…

Really? You want a tight ass more than love, more than snuggling on the couch with your soul mate?

You want a tiny waist more than your art to be presented in a gallery, more than being featured as the “woman to watch” in your favorite magazine?

You want thin arms more than having girlfriends who will ditch work on a moment’s notice and head to the beach, more than someone to hold you when you feel like you can’t move another step?

You want a flat tummy more than feeling the hot sand under your feet while you look out into turquoise waters spotted with dolphins, more than the rush of running through the woods with sticks breaking under your feet?

Do you really?

I never heard back.

So all I can do is ask you.  Do you really just want to lose weight? Or do you want more?

Would you happily sacrifice model worthy legs for a lifetime of love and great sex?  I would in a heartbeat.

And what I know to be true because I’ve done it myself, and I’ve helped hundreds of women do the same, is that when we go after what you really want, you finally create the body you were always meant to have.  And you wouldn’t want to change a thing.

Go get it.

In the comments below, I want to know, what do you want more than losing weight?

Love,

Sarah

We would love to hear from you, leave a comment.

We take pride in our positive community here, so please be respectful. Comments are moderated, so those that are deemed inappropriate, including general or self-promotional spam, untruths, offensive or harassing statements, or comments unrelated to the post will be deleted.

  • More than anything I want a career that I love. A job that it doesn’t take an hour to get out of bed for, that doesn’t require multiple mind tricks in order to show up for. A career/job that I am excited about. But instead I find myself obsessed with my body and its shape to fill the void!

    • YES! I am in the same position right now. Working to get myself in a position where I am in a happier place with my work.

      • Sarah Jenks

        Try taking breaks throughout the day. When you feel yourself getting burned out step outside for some fresh air to recharge and I also find that brightening up your work environment with fresh flowers on your desk can make a world of difference. xo

  • Caroline

    At the risk of sounding horribly shallow I say “yes”
    I really want to be thin first and foremost because my brain clings on to the idea that if I had the body I long for I would project a confidence that would attract all the good stuff – I have a great life – I have the great husband , job , girlfriends etc… yet my enjoyment of them is tainted by the always present feeling that if I was just a little thinner I would enjoy them all the more . So yeah I want a tight ass more than anything and I believe a lot of women do while appreciating how f”&$$ up that sounds and while being grateful for all they have. I can be appreciative of my blessings and selfish at the same time .

    • Sarah Jenks

      If you’re in the position where you love everything about your life except your weight, I have a few tips. Are you engaging in pleasurable activity /exercise each day? I’m not suggesting that you spend all of your time at the gym each week, but if you engage in pleasurable activity daily, I strongly believe that the weight will begin to release itself. Also, are you mindfully eating your meals? We really dive deep into all of this during Live More Weigh Less Mastery, but if you aren’t engaging in physical activity and are mindlessly and/or emotionally eating the weight isn’t going to go anywhere. Hope this helps open up a few other possibilities for you, Caroline! xo

  • Kristen

    I want to feel secure in my skin, feel confident in myself, and change the lives of people I know.

    • Sarah Jenks

      This is really great, Kristen! I want the same thing for you! I’d love for you to join us for the Live More Weight Less Fall Challenge. Sign up at http://lmwlchallenge.com

  • Irena Vieira

    To be madly in love. And be madly loved back. To be happy. To live a Soulful life. To be truly connected with a likeminded community.

    • Sarah Jenks

      This is really beautiful. You are in the right place! xo

  • I want to feel amazing everyday.
    I want to glow with health.
    I want my daughter to grow up loving herself for who she.
    I want live an amazing life.
    Xo

    • Sarah Jenks

      Sooo good! I hope all of our daughter’s grow up in a culture where they can be proud of who they are. xo

  • Love this post.. and so totally agree!
    Even though I have to lose a bit of weight, the list of things that I want way waaayyy more is rather long.
    These are just some of the things: I want to be healthy, I want love, fun, happiness, freedom, a fulfilling job, a big huge family, nights out with the girls… 🙂

    • Sarah Jenks

      I want nothing more than for you to have all of this. This is exactly what we’ll be doing at the Live Free Retreat in Sonoma. You can get all of the details at http://livefreeretreat.com The retreat is designed to have you experience the good life, while taking solid action so that when you return home, your life is already set up exactly the way you want it.

  • Personally, my motivations for losing weight are health, happiness, and freedom. Feeling free to wear (mostly) what I want and do the things I want without thinking “I know everyone is thinking I’m way too fat to do this.” I won’t lie and say there isn’t some level of vanity there; of course I want to look good. But more than that, I want to feel good.

    I think we live in a society where weight loss or obesity are often depicted as the main problem, rather than a symptom of a bigger issue. Obviously I can’t speak for others, but I know that when I’m taking care of myself I’m happier, and when I’m happier I tend to WANT to take care of myself. When I’m down, it’s easy to slack.

    So the philosophy of creating the life you want in order to get the body you want, rather than waiting until you get the body to create the life, makes a lot of sense to me.

    • Sarah Jenks

      I am SO proud of you, Candace. You get it! Please join us for the Live More Weight Less Fall Challenge. Sign up at http://lmwlchallenge.com You’ll fall in love with the community that’ll boost each other when we want to slack. xo

  • To feel radiant, confident, sensual, and beautiful in my own skin. To have a partner to joyfully traipse through the ups-and-downs of life with and with whom I share a deeply nourishing, mutual love and respect. To live in an incredible home that both inspires and grounds me. And to have a career that is fortifying and healing my community. 🙂

    • Sarah Jenks

      Oh Nathalie, thank you for sharing from your heart! I want all of this and more for you. Let’s work together to make it happen! xo

  • Amanda

    I want a peaceful mind and a contented soul.

  • Karen

    I am at a place where I am finally happy with my body! It has been a long road there….
    In my teens & early 20’s, I was fit, healthy and happy with myself. Then life happened – marriage, children, job, stress, etc. I gained 40 plus pounds. For yrs. I was unhappy with myself & used food for comfort. I was consumed with “losing weight”, as I thought it would make me happy! Fast forward… 15 yrs later, I did lose the 40 plus pound & have kept it off for 8 yrs now. But after initially losing it, I still wasn’t truly happy! I was proud of myself, but not content. I am happy to say that I am learning to relax and let go of the weight thing, as it does not bring Joy! What brings Joy and true happiness, is to be loving & kind to myself and others.The trick is that I learned it’s completely fine to try and fail, to put yourself out there and not be perfect. Failure, not being perfect and not having people agree with me, not being completely accepted: these are not negative things. They’re positive.The best way to learn and grow is to try, yes, & make mistakes, then learn some more. We need to learn to see life this way, and embrace it, letting go of our fears. When we get better at this — which does takes a lot of practice — we can start to remove the things that hold us back. This attitude is what made a difference in my journey. I try to nourish myself with the best foods, when possible and work out, how I want, when I want, because I love my body and I want the best for it. I enjoy life and the relationships with my family & friends, much more, as this is what truly is important in my life!! I can truly say…I am fit, happy and healthy.!! Don’t focus on losing weight. Give your body the best gift ever – Love!
    Life is short….live it to the fullest!

    • Sarah Jenks

      …and you’re already on your way, Amanda! Amazing statement .. remind yourself of that every day! xo

      • Sarah Jenks

        You are such an inspiration, Karen! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing your story and being an inspiration to so many women. xo

  • I read your email/post when I got up this morning. I was going to answer straight off but decided to wait and really think about what your said. I thought about it all the way to work and realized, my initial response and gut feeling didn’t change.

    1. “You want a tight ass more than love, more than snuggling on the couch with your soul mate?” Yes, I want a tight, JLo Booty. I have my soul mate and have had him for the past 22 years. He is more into me now then when we first met. Let’s give this one a check.

    2. “You want a tiny waist more than your art to be presented in a gallery, more than being featured as the “woman to watch” in your favorite magazine?” Yes, I want to jump into JCrew and pick up a size ten pair of pants to fit my tiny waist. I don’t need recognition in a magazine to be a “woman to watch”. I’m already a woman to watch and I matter to the people who matter to me. If people outside my circle can’t see my greatness, I don’t need to try to splash it across a magazine to let them know. I can garner that all on my own, fat or thin, as a matter of fact. But yes, I would like to feel more comfortable in my clothing choices and options.

    3. “You want thin arms more than having girlfriends who will ditch work on a moment’s notice and head to the beach, more than someone to hold you when you feel like you can’t move another step?” No, I don’t want friends who will ditch work for the beach. I want friends who are there for me and will chat, text, meet up when they have met other obligations. Thankfully I have those friends and I am grateful for the friendship at all times, not just because they will blow off work.

    5. “You want a flat tummy more than feeling the hot sand under your feet while you look out into turquoise waters spotted with dolphins, more than the rush of running through the woods with sticks breaking under your feet?” Again, YES! I have a husband who knows that I love to experience new places and we work together to make those adventures happen. Our travel adventures and my flat tummy are two completely different desires. I want to not look like a Hershey’s kiss when I sit down. When my feet are in the sand, I want to be able to look down and see them 🙂

    I gained weight as an adult. I spent my early adulthood thin, not worrying about what I ate or if I had to hit the gym. As I got older, the weight crept up every year. Occasionally, I would get sick of it and scale back. However, there was never a time where I was affected by it in my romantic or family life. In fact, my family is always very supportive. The bottom line is that everything in my life is perfect expect for my weight.

    • Sarah Jenks

      DW thank you for your response.

      I’d love for you to read through some of these comments to get a little more of my perspective on the topic.

      My intentions are to have you fully awakened to all the beauty around you and embrace it. If your life is 100% full in all areas besides your weight I have tons of tips for that and it all starts with body confidence, you have to truly love your body to release the extra weight and also engage in fun activities and exercise daily. Not hours at the gym, I’m talking about moving your body in a way that feels good to you. You also need to check in with your body and ask her what she needs. I hope these insights and some of the other tips I’ve shared in the comments will clarify my perspective more for you.

      Sending you love and support!

      xo,
      Sarah

  • There are SO many things I want more than weight loss…to keep and grow my close friendships and relationships with my family and my boyfriend, to feel fulfilled and inspired by my work, and to spend a lot of time outside and a lot of time laughing. The trick for me is remembering that an extra cupcake (or 3) is NOT something I want more than weight loss…it’s something I want much less in the long run.

    I loved this post, because it’s such a great reminder of all the things that are greater than being just however much skinnier.

    • Sarah Jenks

      The trick IS remembering our priorities…and we already know what those cupcakes taste like! Sooo not worth it. Next time you want a cupcake or 3, stop and think about what you’re really craving. It’s usually something besides food so make a list of fun things to do and when those cravings hit do one of the activities on your list and if you still want the cupcake after, eat the cupcake, but most times we’re really craving something else entirely! xo

  • Nadia

    I want to feel good in my body. I want to feel light and gracious! The way i feel in my body shifts the way i interact with people, the way I look at life… I just want to feel in peace with myself, i want to love myself, respect myself, i want to enjoy life, I want to eat that is best for me, i want to have pleasure, i want to smile and my self when i look in the mirror, i want to really, deeply love myself. I want to travel the world, i want to love, help others, discover cultures, i want to discover who am I and what am I meant to do in this life, my Dharma. I want peace, love and harmony within myself.

    • Sarah Jenks

      I want this and more for you, Nadia! Let’s take the journey together. xo

  • Maddie

    I want the BEST life possible! I want to be excited to wake up in the morning and spend my days and nights surrounded by loving friends and family. I want to be excited to go to work in the morning and give it my all! I want to love and be loved!

    • Sarah Jenks

      Awesome Maddie. Now that you’ve visualized what you want, let’s go get it! xo

  • Truth!! It’s like the question which came first the chicken or the egg? If you look good you feel good and if you are feeling good you want to look good. You are at your best with both. And the bonus for both is everything you told your client. Love it! My favorite is the amazing sex with my husband! If that’s in place, so is everything else.

    • Sarah Jenks

      I couldn’t have said it better myself, Nik! Sending you love (and great sex)! xo

  • I feel I can really relate to this post, Sarah. I’m a breakup coach who helps women as they heal their broken hearts. So many times women want me to help them get their ex back or find someone new to replace him…instead of tending to their pain in a healthy way and creating the life they want to live, whether that means being single for awhile or not. Sometimes these gals need tough love…but whether they’re ready to hear it or not is a different story.

    Great post.

    • Sarah Jenks

      Thank you, Akirah. And thank you for touching so many lives. xo

  • Kelsea

    Nailed it!

  • Jean

    More than anything, I want to lose my insecurities about who I am. I want to lose my fear of public speaking. I want to start trusting myself to do all the goals I set out to do many years ago. But, I’ve always used my weight, kids, husband, job and etc not to move forward.

    • Sarah Jenks

      It’s one step at a time, Jean. Put yourself first by doing something FUN for yourself every day. Join me for the Live More Weigh Less Fall Challenge. It’s designed to help you build the confidence you need to move forward. You can learn more at http://lmwlchallenge.com.

  • Erin

    More than anything, I want to become a physician who treats her patients holistically and with positive intentions. I am in medical school right now, and it can be incredibly stressful at times, but I keep looking forward to the future when I can help my patients live happy, healthy lives. I can easily get distracted with how much weight I want to lose and how much I should and shouldn’t eat and all that boring crap. This blog post is definitely one I will revisit many times, because it’s a great question to ask yourself!! Thank you!! 😀

    • Sarah Jenks

      Thank YOU, Erin! You’re on your way to becoming an incredible physician and I applaud your hard work. Revisit and connect with us often, please! xo

  • I want a mind blowing, outrageously successful, fully self expressed Career that brings laughter, love, light and acceptance through humor and contagious joy to millions of people through any avenue possible-film, tv, stage, rocket ship…whatever the people need to allow me to make them laugh and them to open up a bit! I also want an incredibly strong, healthy, vibrant body glowing with love and light and that has an incredible amount of stamina and ability to flip and fall and split and do a handstand for however long I desire! And I want a life long love who is with me through it all! A father, husband, best friend, creative partner, spiritual partner, love of my life! Thank you for divine timing, synchronicity, abundant flow, and love, love, love, joy, joy, joy!

    Thank you Sarah for the reminder…whenever I get caught in skinny arms and thighs my light slowly fades and nothing is ever enough and I miss out on all the wonder, beauty, love, and light that is here right now!

    • Sarah Jenks

      Bravo, Lucy! Let your light shine bright…it’ll attract so many positive outcomes. xo

  • I want to let go of drama and anything that weighs me down – namely my job. I’ve been working on building my business for 4 years and some days it feels like I’ll never “get there”. I have a lot of bad habits I need to break, including eating out of boredom and emotion during and after a hard day at work.

    I want to be at my best, not just for my family, but for me. I deserve it.

    • Sarah Jenks

      Shannon, you deserve all of this and more. If we keep waiting for “someday” that day will never come so I want to know what you are going to do today to overcome the feeling of I’ll never get there. And if you desire more support around this, I highly encourage you to check out the LIVE FREE Retreat in Sonoma that I’m leading with Nisha Moodley:http://livefreeretreat.com.

  • Rachel

    I want to LIVE. To watch the sunrise, to feel the wind on my face on my runs, to go on incredible trips with my family and friends, to fall asleep in my arms of my husband, to feel sexy and empowered, to have meaningful work that is fulfilling, to read books I want to read, to know that I’ve invested in my family and my community, to enjoy a meaningful and passionate life.

    Thank you for the reminder, Sarah! Not only is this having false priorities, but I think being obsessed with weight loss, as I have been for ages, only cripples us. When the scale screams “you’re a failure” at me every morning, not only am I going to find it hard to refuse those comfort foods (and further perpetuate the problem) but I’m also going to find it hard to push myself in other areas of life. It has to go together. Thanks for the inspiration I needed today!

    • Sarah Jenks

      Get rid of the scale, Rachel! Start your day with your run, a nice cup of tea and positive affirmations. Keep us posted on your journey! xo

  • More than I want to lose weight, I want to:

    *Feel happy, joyful, and radiant
    *Grow a thriving and successful business
    *Write a book that changes millions of lives
    *Have a loving, passionate relationship
    *Travel the world and go on amazing vacations
    *Discover more about my spiritual self and feel more connected to everyone and everything
    *Experience vibrant health
    *Make friends and spend more time with the people I love
    *Live life fully present

    • Sarah Jenks

      I love it, Shannon! Remind yourself of your goals every evening and again every morning. I can’t wait to read your book! xo

  • Ashleigh

    I see the “tough love” point you’re trying to get across, but I think it just comes across as a bit rude. She reached out to you for help, she opened up and was being honest, and it seems like you kinda shamed her for feeling that way. If said in person I’m sure it would’ve come across differently, but when I read it, it sounded a little bitchy to me. I’m sure you didn’t mean for that, but I wouldn’t have responded back either.

    • Sarah Jenks

      Hi Ashleigh,

      I can’t share all of the details of our conversation, but my point is that my mission and what I want for women around the world is to start living their “thin” lives now and to stop waiting on the weight.

      Sending you love!

      xo,
      Sarah

  • I want more than anything to raise thoughtful, motivated children with a self starter attitude. Children that understand what a true heart of gratitude is, and that they feel it daily.

    • Sarah Jenks

      Beautifully said, Courtney. As a new Mommy, this resonates with me more than ever before. I’m so thankful for you! xo

  • Moani

    I want freedom and peace more than anything else..

  • Kris Shugars

    I want to have the courage to let my light shine! I don’t know what that looks like exactly, but that is the desire burning in my heart.

    • Sarah Jenks

      Let it shine bright, Kris! Don’t look for the light…just feel it! xo

  • Justine

    to matter
    I’m so glad I found the love and courage to say it…withholding judgement…feels so much better much better.

    • Sarah Jenks

      You DO matter, Justine! I’m proud of you for finding the courage to share with us. xo

  • Piper

    I want to feel worthy. I want to be loved unconditionally. I want to move freely through life without fear.

    • Sarah Jenks

      You’re on your way, Piper! Just recognizing what you want is powerful. xo

  • Danielle

    Interesting way of looking at it… Yes, currently, I do want to lose weight more than anything else I’d guess. Sure, I’d love to be in a magazine… but not at my current weight. Not just because I’m incredibly vain (fashion/makeup/photography, I was born this way, baby!) but because my current weight doesn’t represent the REAL ME. Every time I’d face a lovely scene like you described, I’d want to make sure it wasn’t on film because my body is carrying a 50 pound layer of protection and pain that it hurts to see in photos.

    I guess I feel that I HAVE love, I HAVE my talents… I wouldn’t be trading them for a great body. I don’t think losing weight precludes having any other incredible moments for the rest of my life, though I absolutely see your point that many of us stop everything else in the meantime. Do I live more now because of you? Absolutely. I believe in living life now without holding back. But there’s still the painful moments of not fitting into clothes I love or wanting to be in photos in those great moments but not doing it b/c of documenting my armor instead of documenting ME. So with what I HAVE in my life, with what I know I will KEEP working towards and GOING after, I do have to admit that yes, I want most to lose weight. My self-love has increased a hundred-fold since your program and I no longer loathe my self. I guess…. what it comes down to, is that (in addition to fashion) I mostly just want to break free of these layers of my painful past. Break out of my shell. Bloom & live in the body that was hidden but mine all along.

    • Sarah Jenks

      Danielle, you are gorgeous, but I want to point out that you identified the piece that has you holding on to the weight that you desire to release: “my body is carrying a 50 pound layer of protection and pain”.

      When you do the deep inner work around releasing your feelings of need for the protection and work to overcome the pain, your weight will naturally come off.

      • Danielle

        Totally agree, Sarah! You nailed it! I’m working on it, HARD. It’s frustrating to feel how far I’ve come… and that I need to WANT more of that progress MORE than losing the weight. My ever-present impatience is stomping her feet and whining ‘But i’ve already done soooo muuuuchhhhh!!!’ ha. Thank you so much for your wise words, as always.

  • Catriona Smillie

    CHOCOLATE

    • Sarah Jenks

      …..is delicious but in moderation! Take a long walk instead of devouring that bag of chocolate like I did years ago! xo

  • Sara

    I want a lot of things: to get out of debt, to start my own business, to have a more intimate relationship with my partner, to wear the clothes I want to run a 15k, AND to lose weight. On different days, different things are the priority. I don’t think it’s wrong to want to lose weight, as you seem to be implying.

    • Sarah Jenks

      When we focus so much on losing weight we miss out on all of the beauty happening around us. My philosophy is to infuse more pleasure in all areas of your life and the weight will naturally start to melt away. When you’re engaging in pleasurable exercise / activity vs. spending hours in the gym doing something you dread and hate your body won’t respond as well to the work you are putting in. And when you stop weighting on the weight and live the life you want to live now, your body will move to your ideal weight. It doesn’t mean that you can indulge on chocolate, wine, cheese and bread daily, but when you become more mindful of your cravings and really listen to your body and start living your “thin” life now you’re going to start losing the weight. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your desires with us. We’re cheering you on in your journey.

  • Nala

    I really like your suggestion Sarah – to live the life we want… regardless of whether we have lost the weight or not… we MUST do this!! Life will pass us by otherwise!!

    On the other hand, I’d like to express my frustration that in my experience, simply living the life I want does not automatically lead to weight loss, at least for me!! I really enjoy my life and I am a happy, peaceful, accomplished person, with a fantastic and loving marriage, family, girl friends, and more, but I’m *still overweight*. That’s the issue. So I enjoy my life whilst carrying the burden of obesity… and this does, in fact, reduce the extent of my enjoyment of all things, always. So, it feels like just simply *losing the weight* really would be the solution to my problem.

    Furthermore, it’s so true losing weight will not “make” anyone experience lasting happiness… I know this – having lost weight in the past (and gained it back), it wasn’t that my life suddenly became perfect… there will always be issues that come along in life. But losing weight sure would remove the massive burden that continually reduces my ongoing personal happiness. I’d love to shed that burden, and it’s been very difficult to do so. What would you suggest to those of us who are already living a great life daily… but still not really shedding the pounds?

    • Sarah Jenks

      Nala, thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly.

      If you’re in the position where you love everything about your life I have a few tips. Are you engaging in pleasurable activity each day? I’m not suggesting in spending hours in the gym each week, but if you engage in pleasurable activity daily, I strongly believe that the weight will begin to release itself.

      Also, are you mindfully eating your meals. We really dive deep into all of this during Live More Weigh Less Mastery, but if you aren’t engaging in physical activity and mindlessly eating the weight isn’t going to go anywhere.

  • Bonnie

    What do I want more than losing weight?
    I want sleep-ins, snuggling with my daughters in bed, days in our pyjamas watching movies while the world happens around us. I want to have amazing times with my husband, not thinking about whether my thighs rub together. I want long walks and chats with my friends where we notice the surroundings, the amazing views, the smell of the coffee and none of us feels the need to get in first with a comment about how much weight we’ve gained. I want my girls to know in every moment that their bodies are perfect, and that they are valued for the contents of their minds and hearts and their actions and words, not the number on a clothing label. And I want to get past the point where any number – on a scale, on a tape measure, on my jeans – has any power to affect my interaction with the world. I want to live fully in every moment and enjoy every one of them, not fear what tomorrow’s number may be.

    • Sarah Jenks

      How powerful and so true! Thank you for being so open, Bonnie! xo

  • Becky

    I want to be loved and treated like I am worth something.

  • paula

    I use to want to lose the weight more than anything. I put my life on hold. When I lose 30 pounds ill do this or that. I wait to buy that rocking outfit. I will try the next fade diet…..only to fail once again. Then I found your website to encourage me to love myself now and to do the things I always wanted to do. Lets face.it my body wont be the same after four kids. I have to enjoy the body I have now and have the love I deserve and sex

    • Sarah Jenks

      You are amazing, Paula! Enjoy the body that made and delivered your four children because you are beautiful! xo

  • I want to bring positive changes to the world, radiate love and beauty, find my ultimate soul mate, best friend and lover, love what I do without regret, explore beautiful and exotic places, and stand up for those whose voices are often silenced.

    • Sarah Jenks

      So powerful, Melinda! Thank you for sharing! xo

  • Amber

    I have read some of the comments posted and so many have the same feelings I have. It gives me a comforting feeling. What I want more than anything is to be truely loved for who I am. And to love the life I have and really appreciate it for what it is and what it will be in the future.

    • Sarah Jenks

      Thank you for sharing such honesty, Amber! xo

  • Nicole

    I want to have a career that allows me to express who I really am, while in turn helping others to arrive at a place where they too can express who they really are, whatever size they may be. I desire a loving, passionate partner who supports me and loves me for exactly who I am, without trying to change me and regardless of what I may weigh on a given day, and who brings more joy and delight to my life. I wish to create a loving circle of true friends who are there for me through thick and thin, and who could care less if my body is thick or thin. I long ago recognized that no matter how I look, as a woman in our culture, I have been conditioned never to be satisfied with my body, and that every woman, no matter how thin or how beautiful, never believes that she is thin enough or beautiful enough. To me, that seems very sad. If I had waited until I felt thin enough, then I would never have become a fitness instructor, nor would I have done such things as learning to swing dance or scuba dive. I would rather be fully alive and experiencing the world around me in a deeper way, than to be constantly worrying about my weight and what size jeans I am wearing.

    • Sarah Jenks

      I applaud you, Nicole! I love to dance, too! xo

  • I want a career that lights me up! That helps our planet and gives me an outlet for being creative and brings more beauty into the world. Waking up to this would be so much more satisfying than waking up to the “ideal” body. Thanks for the reminder Sarah! xox

  • Amanda B.

    I want to have my wedding day be the BEST day of my life with the love of my life, and feel gorgeous, rather than feel self conscious about my weight in my dress!
    I can relate to the girl who sent you that email. It’s good to remember to keep everything in perspective like you say… losing weight is definitely NOT the most important thing!
    But i’m definitely guilty of feeling like it is the most important thing… I’m absolutely terrified that i’ll feel self conscious about my weight in my wedding dress and let it affect my day (in less than two months!), which I know is crazy because getting married is not about looking skinny!!!
    But in the back of my mind, I can’t get rid of this worry despite all the hard work i’ve been doing, that I won’t look like the bride I want to be. So thanks for the reminder 🙂 I’ll try and keep it in perspective!

  • bertha chibwe

    I want to have a good relationship with my husband.but I also want to lose weight

  • Julie

    This post really spoke to me. I completely agree that reframing what you really want is a good way to change your perception and your focus into achieving those things. The question is- what if I really believe I can’t get any of those things without losing the weight? That I can’t find a fulfilling relationship, or be happy, unless I first lose the weight. I understand it’s about going and doing those things that make you happy and going after what you want anyways, but it’s hard to change that mindset when I’ve always felt like I first have to lose the weight. Thanks for your post!

  • Weight isn’t everything. Loving and believing in yourself is key to happiness!

Sarah Jenks

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