Goal setting may be preventing your success

I hope you’ve had a great week back after Thanksgiving.  I had such a great trip home to Boston and then to New York for the weekend.

As I mentioned last week, I’m a big dreamer.  I love to plan out my week, my year, my whole life!  Often I make Jonathan come “life shopping” with me.  We drive around the city or cute towns up north and look at houses we could imagine living in.  We talk about what our morning routines will be with the kids, how cute they’ll be playing in the backyard and what we’ll talk about at the dinner table in our huge dining room.

I used to think that I had to get really specific about what I wanted in order for it to come true.  I’d think about how much money I wanted to make, the exact block I want our next home to be on, the exact size I wanted my jeans to be… it was a little obsessive.

And to be honest, it stressed me out.  What was going to happen if those things didn’t happen?  I couldn’t even go there, it was too depressing.

Then I met Danielle LaPorte and got turned onto a completely new way of goal setting.  Danielle believes that when we lead with how we want to feel as opposed to what we want, a sense of expansion, flexibility and true contentment can shine through.

We realize that the guy who we weren’t giving a chance because he’s much younger makes us feel like a queen.

We stop hustling because we realize all the money in the world isn’t worth how spending time away from our kids makes us feel.

We realize that staying in our one bedroom apartment feels so much more luxurious than moving into a place with three times the rent.

Life just gets better when we focus on feelings, not stuff.  Tweet it.

So when Danielle asked me to post my Core Desired Feelings for 2014 in celebration of the New Year, I was all in.

When I went through Danielle’s epic program, The Desire Map, a year ago, my Core Desired Feelings were: Abundance, Feminine, Wild.

It’s a good thing I ditched my goals because those would’ve been toast with my pregnancy.  Even with everything up in the air, I still increased my income, created deep romance with Jonathan, felt significantly more relaxed, got pregnant and went on some sick adventures to Hawaii, the coast and Paris.  I didn’t set out to do any of these things, I just focused on how I wanted to feel and the rest fell into place.

I’ve spent the past week going through the Desire Map again (you can buy your own copy here) and it’s been invaluable to think about the next year of my life, a year that’s filled with incredible unknown.

Here are my core desired feelings:

After going through Danielle’s very specific and fun process of narrowing down your CDF’s to just 3-5 you do a huge brain dump of all the things you want to do, have and experience in the next year – keeping in mind what things are going to make you feel the way you want to feel.

I came up with close to 50 things… of course.  But we’re only allowed to choose three because as Danielle puts it: focus is the key to success.  This took me hours to refine, but here are my intentions for 2014 based on my Core Desired Feelings.

In the comments, I’d love to know how you want to feel in 2014.  It’s never too early to dream:).

Love,

Sarah

P.S.  I can’t recommend Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map enough.  It has helped me more than I could’ve imagined.  What I love about it the most, is that her process is so graceful that you feel as if you’re creating a great life completely by accident.  I often find myself thinking, wait… how did I get here?  By following my desires …