How my front hall closet changed my relationship

I am SO excited for this month’s blog babysitter. I’ve been dying to introduce you to her fabulous work. You’re going to love love love her.

If you’ve been following me for a while you know how much I love home design.  It’s not overstating it to say I’m kind of obsessed. You also probably know that I believe creating a gorgeous space is vital to obtaining the life and body you want.

Lucky for us, this is what my friend and Interior Coach, Rebecca McLoughlin’s work is all about.

Last summer I was really struggling at home. I felt uninspired and – frankly – bored with our space. Normally when I feel this way, I have a go-to set of tricks.  Buying fresh flowers, a new coffee table book or fabulous bedding usually does the trick but for some reason, this time nothing was working. I literally started to dread coming home.  WTF?  Awful, right?

I knew something was wrong.  I thought I wanted to move (!) but what I really needed was Rebecca.

Now, Rebecca’s not an interior designer – though my house looked amaaaazing after we worked together. She’s a coach who works with people to make their physical spaces support their goals and dreams. We started by talking about some of the hot spots that were bothering me in the house and we talked about the challenges that were coming up in my life: fighting with Jonathan, feeling unmotivated at work and apathetic about starting a family – something I thought I “should” have been into at that point.

When Rebecca came to my home she immediately identified where I was holding stuck energy and we got straight to work. Even though everything looked “perfect” on the outside, my closets, drawers, and secret storage spots (like under our bed – don’t look!) were a mess.  And as she sweetly pointed out, this was actually representative of how I was living my life – clean and polished on the outside, struggling and overwhelmed underneath.

Ooof. Reality check. She was totally, totally right and all that internal mess/external perfection was exhausting me. I was determined to help get my insides (home and heart) in alignment with my outsides.

Together, we went through every nook and cranny of my home. I sorted through every ticket stub, post it note, and college picture around.  I released outdated cocktail dresses, books, cosmetics and dishes I didn’t love or use anymore. I threw out and donated three carloads of stuff.  It felt amazing.

Throughout all this purging and cleaning, Rebecca also helped me work through and release the emotional attachments I had to “things.” All of that behind-the-closet-door chaos was blocking me from a home and life that felt fun and full. And when I let go of all the stuff, I also let go of the emotional baggage that was tied up with it. I had no idea how many emotions were hiding in the secret corners, drawers, and closets of my life.

After we cleared out all the clutter, we rearranged my furniture. No exaggeration, my apartment felt like a totally different space! My kitchen felt like an open and airy french country retreat and suddenly I wanted to cook extravagant meals again.

But this was the craziest change: before my work with Rebecca, Jonathan would come home from work stressed out and a little edgy – it made me crazy and I’d often get super defensive and pick fights. But after we cleared out the entry way and front hall closet, he’d walk in the house with a huge smile, completely at ease. All that stress-inducing, chaotic energy had been triggering him as soon as he walked in the door, and we’ve barely fought since. It’s crazy how the changes that a well-organized coat closet can make, right?

On top of that, the final and most incredible thing that happened – I got pregnant!  Really and truly, I believe that sorting out my home allowed me to feel grounded, safe, and happy with where I was in my life, which called in our sweet baby boy. An absolute miracle.

I can’t communicate the importance of addressing your space enough.  Sorting out my living space helped me work through all sorts of emotional challenges (many of which I didn’t even know were an issue) that were quite literally weighing me down.

Rebecca is a master at her craft, an absolute joy to be around and a true healer.  I feel so lucky to have her in my life and am SO excited for her to share some basic tips to help you get started cleaning up your own space today! Enjoy and be sure to download her GORGEOUS ebook, “The 5 Keys to Wake up and Love Where You Live.” It is steller and FREE!

From Rebecca:

I believe that beautiful living starts on the inside.

Look around you. Your space is an extension of you. It’s like your body: it holds your life.

Where are you sitting right now? In your home? Your office? Are you in a comfortable chair? Sprawled on the sofa? At a desk or a table? Do you have enough light? Can you see something beautiful?

We all have relationships with our space and while this is mostly an unconscious relationship, our space is a powerful mirror of our interior lives.

Messy bed, messy head.

The old adage, “messy bed, messy head,” is actually pretty accurate. Our homes are a manifestation of our personalities, our hopes and fears, our goals and dreams. But sometimes, our spaces hold echos of the past and become filled with things that no longer serve us. Despite our best efforts to move on, our homes can bind us to events, energies, and memories we need to let go of.

The spaces we live in are visible, livable metaphors for our inner worlds. Click to share.

Chaos outside will breed chaos inside; likewise, internal energy or tranquility will be reflected in the ways you choose to inhabit your spaces. If your space is contaminated with clutter when you crave clarity, if your home is pale and peaky while you’re seeking vibrancy and excitement in life, it’s much harder to reach your goals.

And that chaos isn’t just limited to our living spaces – I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of stuffing our closets to overflowing, often with clothing that doesn’t fit or flatter us anymore.  Just like our spaces, our clothes tend to hold meaning far beyond what they are. Remember the presentation you bombed in that red suit? What about the amazing night out you had in that LBD that doesn’t fit anymore?

It’s crazy how much meaning we put into our clothes. Even when we don’t wear them any more, they sit in our closet taking up room and creating the experience of a photo album rather than a place to store clothes.

Things hold memories – whether it’s a sweater from a first date or vase from the friend you no longer talk to – this stuff can sap energy from an otherwise positive space. Are you honoring yourself with the objects you choose to keep around?  Our spaces should be in flow with where we our in our lives and where we are going.  When your space truly supports your needs you’ll find yourself happier, more productive and centered.

A beautiful, well-intentioned home reflects your true self back to you.

Creating a space that authentically, beautifully represents you and supports your current place in life can feel overwhelming. But there’s an answer to every block, a solution to every stuck situation.

Now it is time to take action!

In your home:

Take another look at where you are sitting right now. Is your space meeting your immediate needs? Do you have enough light, warmth, comfort, and support? What could you change to better meet your physical, functional needs?

Take a few hours or a full day to clean out your closet. Enlist a trusted friend to you ask questions and move you forward when and if you get stuck. Three of my all time favorite questions while going through this process are….Do you love it? Do you use it? Does it represent you? If the answer is no, why are you holding on to it?

In your heart:

Think about how you truly want to feel in your life. Do you want more clarity? More beauty? More joy and vibrancy? How could you bring those traits into your home right now?

Reflect on what your clothes and your closet might be mirroring in your body or emotional life. Are you holding on to things you don’t need any more, or trying to live in a time that has passed? Sit with whatever comes up, journal about it, or share it here in the comments below.

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Hi, it’s Sarah again! Pretty great stuff right? Ok, now in the comments below, tell us one thing that that you love about your space and one thing that maybe needs some attention and what you game plan is! Can’t wait for you to start creating a home for your beautiful body and life to live in!

We can’t wait to hear from you.

Love,

Rebecca & Sarah