The missing link to having it all

Blog · Your Self

I hope you had a wonderful Independence Day yesterday! We celebrated at our summer house in Canada (I know, ironic) by setting off massive amounts of fireworks over the water.  It was gorgeous.

I’m so excited to have Nisha Moodley, my dear friend, and co-leader of the Live Free Retreat I’m hosting in Sonoma this fall (if you want to get first dibs on a spot, make sure to get on the short list at guest writing for my blog this week.  Nisha is my go-to woman for support, inspiration and fun…but it wasn’t always like this with us.  She’s gonna tell you why.

From Nisha:

Have you ever been so jealous that your jealousy completely overtook your brain for a minute…or a week?  That’s how I met Sarah.

My name is Nisha and a handful of years ago, I was busy building my coaching business, where I supported women in finding freedom from emotional eating.  My business was growing steadily when someone told me I should check out “another NYC woman doing a similar thing”: Sarah Jenks.

I immediately went to Sarah’s website.  As I clicked through the pages, looking at her pictures and reading her words, I was overcome with jealous anxiety.  “Why would anyone want to work with me, if they knew about Sarah?”; “She’s so freakin’ pretty!”; “Oh man, she’s totally got it together.  I bet she has way more clients than I do.”

Little did I know that somewhere in the Lower East Side, Sarah was obsessing over my website and thinking roughly the same things about me, too.

We were totally jealous of each other and didn’t know it.  Sitting on my sofa that day, I clearly remember thinking, “Well, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!”  I emailed her.

A few weeks later, we were planning our first teleclass together; a week after that, we went to a party together (check us out, lookin’ all cute in the pic below!); by the time we’d led the class together, we were for-real-friends.


In our class, we both shared our experiences with emotional eating — two completely different stories, both valid, and both valuable for the women in our class.  We came to understand that our jealousy of each other had nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with our own insecurities — that somehow we weren’t smart, pretty, eloquent, funny or confident enough.

Sarah and I have learned a huge lesson through our friendship:  Instead of hating the women you’re jealous of, make friends and help each other grow. {tweet it} 

Over the years, Sarah and I have supported each other through a lot…

  • Sarah’s move to San Francisco
  • My divorce
  • Program launches
  • Fights with our partners
  • Exciting business milestones
  • Family dramas
  • Big investment decisions
  • Dreams for the future


Having each other as friends through these life experiences has made life smoother, more fulfilling and more fun.  Who knew that the missing link to having it all wasn’t about having the perfect thighs, the perfect schedule, the perfect relationship, the perfect teeth or having it all figured out?!

The missing link to having it all is sisterhood.

When you have close girlfriends who get you, everything on earth can be figured out, and everything in life feels better.  For all of humankind, women have lived with other women.  At any other time in history, if you were confused, sad, angry, excited, anxious or happy, a woman would be there to hug you, celebrate with you, cry with you, and hold your hand.  We’re designed for sisterhood.  It’s our nourishment.

In the comments below I want to know, how has sisterhood saved you? And how are you going to invite more sisterhood into your life?

I can’t wait to hear from you.



p.s. Next week Sarah and I are opening the doors for our LIVE FREE retreat in Sonoma’s wine country.  We’re so excited!  To get on the list and be the first to know all the details, sign up here:    I’d love to create some sisterhood with you in sunny Sonoma!

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