An 8-minute scribe on preschool graduation

Kelly here from Holy Woman beaming in with today’s Moonday transmission! In case you missed it, Sarah and I are continuing our Unhinged-inspired scribing for our Moonday messages going forward. We’re taking turns – every other week – so that you can hear what’s coming through and what’s on our hearts.

So here’s what’s up for me – a little backstory before we get into it. 

I am a mother to three beautiful kids. Zuri, 8, Jamie, 5, and Kai, 2 (turns 3 this month!). It’s a wild ride and a beautiful one. And in my part of the world, this season is all about the closing of the school year. It’s filled with insanely busy schedules as we race to the last day, and it’s also chock full of emotions. We’re buzzing with summer excitement and the promise of long days spent out in our backyard, and less on the calendars. Ikyk.

My son, Jamie, age 5 – is graduating from preschool on Friday and he goes to the most incredible forest school. Closing this chapter of Jamie in the forest and preparing him to go indoors for Kindergarten is one of the biggest and hardest things that’s been present for me in mothering during this season. If you have a high-energy, sensory-seeking, middle child – well, you already know. 

My journey with my middle child has tested me and expanded me in ways that I am only beginning to comprehend – and I know it will be a lifelong journey. 

I’ll spare you all of the details that you don’t need and share instead what’s been happening for me this week. When I drive up to school or drive away from it, I’ve just started crying. I picture him at his graduation, and I cry. I picture him starting Kindergarten and absolutely hating it, and I cry. I picture him bored at home this summer, and I cry. I picture him when he started and I feel how much he has come into the truth of who he is, and I cry. I picture what might have happened if we hadn’t found this place, and I cry.

And this is actually really weird for me. I’m not overly sentimental. But this school is unbelievable. And the woman (and all of the women) who run it are fully in their Soul’s work and I have just absolutely no words for how this place has changed his life, and mine.

But true to form, I decided that in order to go ALL THE WAY IN to the crying, I needed to find the words. I realized on Friday night after being so fried from a long week that the emotion of this ending was really weighing on me, and that I needed to take it to my Writer.

I drove to the reservoir and spread a blanket and I brought my notebook and I left my husband to handle bedtime x 3. And I took a deep breath, opened my notebook, and felt Mama Gaia come in, stronger and more clearly than she ever has. 

Dear Mama Gaia, 

Tell me about what Heartwood did for him.

What came through was more profound and more healing than anything I’ve scribed to date. It hit the most tender parts of me and worked them all the way through.

When I read back what Mama Gaia had to say, I instinctively recorded myself reading it aloud in a voice memo. Later, I sent it to his teacher, Martha, and to Sarah. 

And now, I’m sending it to you.

This format is new. But if you have eight minutes and you want to listen to Mama Gaia talk to me about this school and my son and what this ending means and what the next chapter is about, it is here for you. Warning – I am basically crying while reading it.

Click here to listen to the Mama Gaia transmission.

And if you don’t, no worries. The message that I really want to share with you right now is – whatever you’re feeling, whatever is creeping up that you are shoving down – just go all the way into it. It might not “fix” the situation, maybe nothing can, but it’s always better to face the truth. To know yourself is to love yourself. 

When we love ourselves well, we can love our children even better.

Happy Moonday. Happy grad season for anyone moving through a transition. I see you, I honor you, and I hope you will find your way to make it Sacred.

Love,

Kelly