Blog · Your Self

“Have you seen Sarah?” my dear friend Jeannine asked a group of people when she arrived at the hotel on Friday to celebrate her 40th birthday with her closest friends.

“I don’t know who Sarah is but I just saw a woman down at the beach receiving some sort of energy clearing from a long-haired man and she was crying and shaking a lot”

“That’s Sarah!” Jeannine laughed and bounded down to the beach.

I arrived in Bermuda on Friday, already at capacity. I was feeling edgy and moody and was judging myself hard for not being instantly relaxed and happy sitting by the blue water with my closest friends on an epic getaway.

My cousin Lex, who I introduced to Jeannine a few years ago and now her close friend too, greeted me and instantly said, “Oh you look terrible. You seem really bad.” 🤣

Jonathan could tell I was struggling too  “Can you just let yourself feel this way?” 

Um NO! I screamed inside my head.

“Yes, fine. I just need to get it out.”

We sat down, me facing the ocean, Jonathan behind me on a beach chair, hands on my back, surrounded by hotel guests and a steady stream of friends arriving for the party weekend. Despite hotel guests drinking margaritas and making small talk all around us, I let go of needing to greet people, needing to appear normal and dropped in. 

Living a sacred life means being willing to stick out like a sore thumb, taking radical responsibility for your emotional state, and tending to it.

What’s here? I asked myself and just let the visuals start pouring in. Dropping my son off at camp for a month seeing his little/not-so-little self walk away from me, being in four different locations in three weeks, putting pressure on myself to create the most epic sacred space for Jeannine’s birthday… even though I chose it all, even though I am so lucky to have such a big full life, it’s ok for it to be overwhelming sometimes. And I just let the tears come.

Lex came over and started vigorously shaking my heart (and my boobs 🤣 as one does in a mini rage ritual at a beach hotel). Sarah Tacy sat next to me and held my hand. I guess as people were coming over to give us a hug, they saw what was happening and swerved at the last minute. 

It’s not easy for me to receive support, I still feel more comfortable when I’m the one supporting. Revealing when things feel like a lot makes me worried I’ll be misunderstood for not being grateful for my life, labeled as unhinged, or taking up too much space.  

I’m sure it seems obvious to you, that I deserve this, just as it seems obvious to me that you deserve it, but do you really allow yourself to be held?

When I enter into these moments, it feels like breaking a dam. I will go through periods of my life when I’m just adding cement to hold back the waters of my feelings. When I drop in, I stand there at the wall with a massive sledgehammer, and I hesitate. Am I really going to start slamming into this wall I’ve built? How big will the rush be? Can the people around me really hold it? 

I picked up my inner sledgehammer and took a few big whacks. WHOOSH. And I felt empty, in the best way.

I opened my eyes after just ten minutes of crying, shaking & receiving energy work in public, and felt so much lighter and more open-hearted. Lex said, “It was like your cup was full, but not in a good way.” 

Here’s what I want you to know: Women who are holding a lot, as I know you do, need to have people who can hold them.

But here’s the catch – when you surround yourself with people who meet you fully, you can’t hide from them, or pretend you’re fine — and there’s something so comforting about no one really knowing the dark stuff inside of you 😬.

Over the past 7 years, I have consciously cultivated a New England community of women who are the perfect friends for me. 


Self Aware


Drama free



A little wild

Devoted to being in a conscious marriage

Willing to go into the hard stuff

And – this is an important one for me: one foot in the human world, and one in the sacred. We are all mothers, householders, and career women in small, conventional New England towns, bringing the magic the best we can.

Many of us feel like loners in our everyday lives but when we get together it is MAGIC. 

We don’t live near each other, so we have created new patterns of togetherness, getting together for birthdays, sacred holidays, and life’s big moments. 

Ginny Muir and I were masters of sacred ceremony and wove ritual into everything. I led a guided meditation around authentic joy on the bus on the way to our first dinner. Ginny and I led a spiritual dance party when we arrived on our day-long snorkel/cliff diving boat outing, and invited (forced?) everyone to loosen waaaay up. It was challenging for some of the men, but they did it. 

We set intentions as we jumped off 40-foot cliffs, and when some people bowed out of the high cliff, “way to listen to your body! way to lean into your truth!” echoed from the women floating in the water.

On Saturday night, Ginny, Jonathan, and I led a Goddess of Love ceremony to honor Jeannine’s threshold into mid-life with the men & women. Even the men who aren’t used to being in ceremony, completely surrendered to the magic. During the ceremony the women poured love into Jeannine’s body through our hands, Jonathan led a ritual of protection with the men surrounding Jeannine. Jeanne Street, our medium friend, spoke for Jeannine’s Mother who passed away a few years ago. 

Ceremony and Ritual are practices humans have been doing since the beginning of time. It’s another form of communication, of shifting from one phase of life to another. It signals to our soul that it is time to integrate the past, turn the page, and start a new chapter. Many people think it’s weird, but it’s actually the most normal, long-lasting practice of our species.

After ceremony, we had a beautiful dinner and partied all night. Balance 😉.

This morning I was sitting with Jonathan on the beach doing our sacred start and I started to cry. I remembered how lonely I felt when I moved to Massachusetts from San Francisco, wondering if I would ever find community. And here I am, my life overflowing with the most loving, inspiring, intimate friendships with women I deeply admire and respect, who are also devoted to weaving the sacred into everyday life.

For me, this is the flavor of life I want, and I am leaving today feeling very proud of myself for creating it. 

If this is what you want, I need you to know that it is up to you to create it. 

Here’s a good place to start

  1. Stop settling for boring, dramatic, surface-level friends. If you are spending a lot of time with women like that, you won’t be a vibrational match for the friends you really want.
  2. Get yourself in a space where women like this go. I met every single one of my close friends, now my primary community and support system, at a retreat.
  3. Be bold when you meet someone you like. Take the lead, ask questions, invite them to coffee, don’t wait for them to choose you. 

If you are ready to fast-track creating a sacred life with friends who can meet you, I know without a doubt, you will meet them at Emerge.

Emerge is my three-day, in-person, ceremonial retreat where we are leaving the path we think we “should” take, and choose the path that is ours. I’ve curated a whole weekend of ceremony, dance parties, beautiful meals, intentional conversation, and sacred strategic work to make your life a work of art. 

You will leave having emerged as your true self and have a plan on how to make your life a masterpiece full of joy, adventure, creativity, purpose, and incredible friends 🥰.

We have 10 spots left out of 150 and we are closing enrollment for good on Wednesday.

Reserve your spot here:

I can’t wait to be in sacred space with you.



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