I Feel Fat: 5 Things I Remind Myself On The Dark Days


The day after Christmas, things started to feel pretty bleak. Without the constant holiday cheer to distract me, I sunk into that all-too-familiar darkness around my body. I felt out of control, embarrassed, ashamed, so far from hope… all because I felt fat.

That place of complete despair is so bleak. We can feel like our happiness, dreams — our US — is just so far away.

If you’re in this place right now (many of us are), here are the truths I sunk into while I was in the darkness, and how I turned things around.

You did nothing wrong. Part of being a woman is getting that our bodies are going to grow and shrink our whole lives. Our feminine essence is directly tied to the seasons, the moon and the tides. Nothing about our physicality is linear. Being in the place of feeling overweight is part of our natural cycle.

Don’t ignore the signs. Just because this is a natural part of our cycle as a woman, doesn’t mean you should ignore the signs that it’s time to tune into your body. Underneath my feelings of being “wrong” or “weak” or “disgusting” because I had gained weight over the Fall and Winter, was the truth that I was feeling low energy, depressed and sluggish. THOSE are the real feelings to address and a very real side effect of not prioritizing my health. We very often misinterpret those deep feelings as social shame. And because of this, we get stuck in a terrible trap…

Health and ‘looking good’ are not the same thing. When we stay in the place of “I am wrong for looking this way,” another part of us comes up and says in an angry feminist-kinda-way, “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT I LOOK LIKE! I should be valued for my mind and my soul!”. So in the process of consoling ourselves for feeling embarrassed about what we look like, we ignore what is actually happening physically in our bodies and continue the same old habits we’ve been running. This is such a common trap I see with women, one that I’m so excited to address in our new format of Live More Weigh Less that I’ll be telling you about really soon ;).

Your body does matter. But not for the reasons you think. Looking good in a bathing suit can no longer be the only reason to take care of your body. Your body is your home, your temple. I want you to feel vibrant, alive, energized and HAPPY. This was the biggest wake-up call for me when I realized that my body was affecting my mood. I want more than anything to feel happy and alive. Not only for my kids and Jonathan but for my minute-to-minute existence.

My intention for 2017 is to get that every part of my life is sacred, including my body. This means that what I feed myself, and how I move my body, is no longer an afterthought or something I just fit in where I can — but a priority. I choose to move my body in environments that are sacred; like a dance class, The Practice, or setting up my living room as a temple. I want to eat mostly high-vibration foods that I cook with love. I want to take my vitamins, moisturize my skin, and only use clean, organic products. And I want to emotionally honor and admire my body for everything she is, not just my silhouette.

It’s been less than two weeks of treating my body like a temple and following my Live More Weigh Less philosophy, and I feel amazing. Stronger, happier and more AWAKE. Transformation doesn’t actually take that long.

I’ve already been sharing exactly how I’m doing this on Instagram, and I’d love to be able to connect with you there if you aren’t following me yet.

In the comments on the blog, I would love to hear how you’re feeling about your body right now and the support you are craving. And I would also love to hear one reason you want to take care of your body, that is NOT what you look like.



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