If you want your wedding to be perfect

I think I told you that when Jonathan proposed I pulled out 4 years worth of Martha Stewart Wedding Magazines that I’d been hiding, tabbed and ready to go.  My wedding was going to be perfect.

And not only was my wedding going to be perfect, I was going to look perfect.  With a business centered around losing weight for your wedding, you can imagine the pressure I was under. I even (this is so embarrassing) started taking antibiotics for my skin because I couldn’t get my acne under control- I mean, I know better.

With just 4 months to go before the wedding, I was juggling 17 private clients, a cross-country move, planning a wedding and trying to spend as much time with my NYC friends as possible as I knew I would be leaving soon. Oh yeah, and I was working out 5 days a week and avoiding takeout and coffee.  I was exhausted.

In that moment I decided that I could continue like I was and probably have a mental breakdown or let go of perfection.

I let go, though it wasn’t easy.  I’m wired to want to be the best at everything, the most innovative, the most unique, the front of line.

As I was going through the grieving process of letting go of my perfection my therapist told me, “Sarah, I want you to practice being human.”

Human?  I’m not human, I’m super human, or at least I feel like I should be.  Being human felt like a failure.

Turns out, being human feels relaxing, grounded, loving, cozy, slow, deliberate, connected, high def.  Being human is awesome.

I cancelled all my DIY wedding projects, stopped fantasizing about my wedding being in a magazine, delegated as much as I could to my mother, stopped trying to lose weight, fired some clients, and told Jonathan he had to plan the whole move.

I felt amazing.  Super.  Human.

So on the comments below I’d love for you to share…

Why do you want your wedding to be perfect? What will it do for you?

How do you want to feel on your wedding day?

Do you need the perfect body or perfect flowers to feel that way?

If you acted human, what would you do differently? Would you stop some projects? Let things go? Say no to handwriting personal notes to every guest? Say yes to a chocolate cookie?

Here’s the thing, striving for perfection is like trying to balance towers of china tea cups on your hands, it’s just impossible, stressful and always ends in disaster.

So take a deep breath, and let it all come crashing down.  End your love affair with perfection, it’s an abusive relationship.

Life is messy, your wedding is going to be messy, but no matter what happens – the quirks, the frizzy hair, the crying flower girl, the missing shoe, the shiny forehead – it’s always the things you can’t plan that make your day the most special, unique day of your life.

It’s just going to perfect, promise.