Impossible

The last time we talked, we went into the dark, and into the shadows of all the things we’ve been hiding. We dug into the fears of what they will say (and already do) when we show the world our weird. The sacred is shamed after a multi-thousand-year campaign against it – against us. However, when you reclaim the very thing they think will make us normal, we are unfuckwithable. To everyone who unhinged with us, deep bow, it’s a joy to be in a sacred mob with you. 

We loved it so much, we decided to go on another journey to celebrate the last 20 spots for Emerge, our 3-day in-person retreat 9/20-22 to leave the path you thought you should take and Emerge as your incredibly alive, radically authentic, soul-led self.

20 Spots left for Emerge. Is one yours? Click here.

(And enrollment closes on July 3 or when we sell out.) 

After going down into the dark in Unhinged, finding freedom in coming out of hiding, we thought we were ready to explore waters even scarier to many, and even more highly judged – the Light.

Ready to take the elevator up? Me too. Let’s go.

————

It’s Thursday. Summer Solstice. I wake up, go down to the dock for my Sacred Start, and I am very, very sad.  It’s a bummer, and because I am a Priestess, and myself, I am putting a lot of pressure on myself to feel HAPPY on the Solstice. Pressure on top of the pressure that is causing the hurt in the first place. It’s not a good look.

But I am well trained in sadness, so I went in. My tears raised the level of the lake I was pouring my heart out to.

I talked it out, I came up with some plans. I made it through the day.

It’s Friday. Full Moon in Capricorn. I wake up, go down to the dock for my Sacred Start, and I am restless, and curious, and nervous. I close my eyes and ask the Goddess my favorite question, “What the fuck?” and it appears, she is quite chatty.

She tells me I cannot solve the problems that are in front of me as the person I am today, and I have been more or less working with the same inner operating system for about 9 months.

So I ask, what do I do?

And she says, “What dream do you have that feels impossible?”

Impossible?

Ugh. I could feel the cliff getting closer. 

Impossible. 

Was I willing to let myself go there? To risk utter disappointment (again) when my impossible dream doesn’t come true, like 99% of them haven’t?

And then she showed me the 1% that has. Dreams and cosmic surprises so big and so wild I thought I must be dreaming when they materialized out of nowhere. All these impossible things – now appearing so normal (making a note to be in deeper reverence to those impossible, materialized dreams.)

I let myself go there, and I dreamed the impossible dream. 

Now, one can make a wish…

one can make an intention…

but on Friday, I made a *deal* with the Goddess. Deals are serious business.

I told her what I wanted – something so impossible there’s nothing I could actually do to make it happen – something so big, I couldn’t even tell you about it if it does happen (so not telling you means I can actually share if the IMPOSSIBLE THING happens, which I will, if it does) – something so delusional, you’d think I was nuts.

But that’s the whole point of the impossible.

So here are the terms of the deal – the Goddess makes the thing happen, I become the woman who can handle it if it does. 

I get ready, without any guarantee that it will. I grow, I change, I create a new operating system.

I become the person who has that impossible dream, even though I probably never will.

I shook Her hand. I felt the tightness that has been wrapped about my throat open. I felt the ground disintegrate under me, but I was still standing. I felt stable but floating at the same time – I was surrendered. I opened my eyes. And I was different. 

I cultivated the day the Impossible Me has  – full moon ritual, communed with my land, sex magic, medicine ceremony, danced, sang, moved my body, pulled cards, swam and let myself grow, vision, dream, and innovate.

The thing that made me sad on Thursday has not been solved, but I realized I wasn’t sad about the situation, I was sad that I wasn’t the type of person who could figure it out. 

Now, know I am becoming the person who can solve it. It feels smaller, and I have bigger, more impossible fish to fry. 

So my love, what is your impossible dream? 

And who do you need to become in order to be ready for it?

And what kind of day will the Impossible You create today?

We are all preparing constantly, I know I would rather prepare for the best than prepare for the worst.

I love you,

Sarah

P.S. Kelly will beam into your inbox with her next transmission soon. We won’t be coming to you daily this time (it is summer after all), but we’ve opened the portal and can’t wait to share from now through July 3 when Emerge enrollment ends.