Should you just be happy with what you have?


This is the question I get from women the most during my Live More Weigh Less Coaching Calls:

“I have two healthy kids and a great house. Shouldn’t this be enough? For some reason, I just feel like there’s more, but I feel so guilty asking for that when I already have so much.”  

Most of us have been taught that if we HAVE certain things then we should be content.  For many women, this is usually kids, a husband, and house. But I believe that happiness and contentment aren’t about what we have, or checking off certain universal boxes, but about living as close to our soul’s authentic expression as possible.

So, if your SOUL’s most authentic expression is to be present with your kids and be in the rhythm of your days then YES, amazing, enjoy your life and all of the sweetness and challenges that offers.

I’ve met high powered, incredibly successful women who longed to be home with their kids full time and changed their lives dramatically so they could be home.  They’ve never been happier or more fulfilled.

I’ve met stay-at-home moms who felt drained by their roles and have had ideas brewing under the surface for a while.  They got an investment and a babysitter and brought their idea to life.  They’ve never been happier or more fulfilled.

And there are a thousand other scenarios in between….

This isn’t about what is more worthwhile, staying home or working, it’s about finding what is right for YOU in the infinite possibilities that are available.

It’s time for us to untie ourselves from the “one size fits all” definition of happiness.

I used to think that I should just be happy with healthy kids, a roof over my head and a few friends.  I thought about all the monks who reached enlightenment by giving up all their earthly possessions and sitting in silence all day.  Shouldn’t this be enough? I wanted so much more, but I felt insanely guilty for it.

Then I started giving myself permission to follow my desires.  

I traveled for pleasure even though I felt pressure to stay home with my kids…

I started talking about what I wanted with my friends even though they might think I’m weird…

I went on retreats for my own growth…

I decorated my home with beautiful things even though I felt I should have put that money in savings…

I dressed my body in bold outfits even though I was afraid of not fitting in…

I bought the huge house on a farm instead of the small colonial at the end of the cul de sac…

I created a business that makes my soul sing instead of what is practical or financially smart.  

I am EXPANDING.  And as I expand, my kids’ lives expand, my husband’s life expands and my community expands.  My desires, my growth, my authenticity don’t take away from my loved ones’ lives, they improve them.  Sure, does it put pressure on Jonathan to watch the kids for three days when I’m away on retreat?  Of course. Do the kids miss me?  Yeah.  Does everyone reap the benefits of a happy wife and mother afterward?  Hell YES.  

Not only is it OK to put in the time to discover who you are and create a life based on your soul’s wisdom, but it is actually YOUR JOB to be the best version of you possible.  Because if you don’t, everyone around you will suffer.

If you are reading this wide eyed and furiously nodding, yes, this is me, then I invite you to consider joining us for Wise Woman Winter, a weekend retreat at Hawthorn Farm where you will remember who you really are and create a life based on your soul’s wisdom.  Many women have already made the leap, and we are looking for a few more brave and wise women to join us.  If you are meant to be one of them, you can learn more here: Wise Woman Winter Invitation & Registration.

In this season of gratitude, don’t let gratitude turn into guilt of wanting more.  You can be both insanely grateful for your many blessings and still strive to become who you really are.

All my love,

 Not ready to take the leap to join Wise Woman Winter? I’m hosting a “Create a Magical Life” Workshop next Thursday, November 16th, where I’ll teach you how to start creating a more sacred, magic filled life. If you can’t make it in person to the live workshop at Hawthorn Farm in Medfield, MA, I’m also offering a digital home study version. Click here to read more about what we’re going to explore on this magical night together.

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