How giving up on my dreams landed me my dream home

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I’m writing to you today from my new living room.  Jonathan, Marshall and I moved into our new home on Friday, and we just have a few boxes left to unpack. If you’ve been around for a while, you how crazy I am about interior design, so setting up our home over the past five days has been such a blast.  I’m actually going to be sharing some shots of the process on Instagram and Facebook over the next week.  I’d love for you to see them and to be connected with you on social media. You can follow me here and here.  While we’re on the topic of social media, did you know I post tips, advice and give support on Facebook and Instagram every day?  If you need daily reminders to live more, want need support from me or an amazing community of women, Facebook and Instagram is where it’s at.

Anyway, what’s so crazy about us living here is that I gave up on this dream a long time ago.  Ever since we moved to San Francisco three and a half years ago, I was ready to buy a house.  I crave open space, a yard… laundry! I deeply desired a place I could paint, renovate and make my own.  Renting made me feel like a guest, and waking up to walls painted the wrong shade of white made my toes curl.

Typical manifestation practice says, “ask and you shall receive”.  Being realistic is irrelevant.  But every part of me knew that buying a house in San Francisco wasn’t in the cards right now (have you seen the prices!?).  Here’s what I did instead, I proclaimed my ideal to the Universe: A large 5 bedroom Victorian in a meadow with a swing tied to an oak tree in the front yard, guest house, open floor plan, wide planked wood floors, high ceilings, original molding, subway tile… and then I gave up on it.

Never gonna happen, I thought, and then the day after Jonathan and I tried to see if bunk beds (not pregnant, just an over planner) could fit into Marshall’s nursery (a.k.a. our bedroom closet) in anticipation of staying in our one bedroom for another three years, a friend of mine called me in August to say her downstairs neighbors were renting out their place.

From what she said over the phone, it didn’t seem right, odd layout, not enough bedrooms, but when it comes to real estate, I’m always game for a snoop.

When I walked in, I instantly knew it was our home. I could almost hear the walls saying, “You’re here! I’ve been waiting for you.”  The place needed a fair amount of work and some structural changes in order for it to work for us.  It’s a one bedroom with two dining rooms and an eat in kitchen. I imagine an older couple who never had kids built it in 1900 to support their addiction to cooking, eating and entertaining.  But when I asked if I could build some walls in one of the dining rooms to create two small bedrooms, our landlord was an easygoing “yes”.  In fact, he said we could practically do whatever we wanted to the place as long as we asked him first.

Now as I see my things in the space, swoon over our new customized cabinets and open shelving in the kitchen, and plan a dinner for my two dear friends who live on the block and have babies Marshall’s age (crazy right?), I am aware that this is the exact house I dreamt about, just in a slightly different form.  If I had been rigid about my dream, and not kept my eyes peeled for clues from the universe about what I actually needed, I would’ve missed moving into this place.  Our realized dreams don’t have to be exact to be perfect. In fact, the Universe usually has a better idea of what we need anyways.

I can’t wait to show you what I’ve been creating on Instagram and Facebook.  And, I want you to get clear about what you want, then throw it all to the wind, and just pay attention to what is showing up in your life that is probably better than what you thought you needed.  It could be the new love interest who makes you feel amazing but isn’t as tall as you wanted, or a job that doesn’t have the exact salary but a perfect opportunity for personal growth, or maybe it’s a home that you can’t buy but feels like you’ve lived there forever. Let us know on the blog.



P.S. We’ve been working on the new! Make sure to sign up for updates so you can be the first to check out the new digs.

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