The show’s over people. Time to get real.

Blog · Your Self


Have you ever stopped to wonder who you are really? If you were not your job, your position as a wife or mother, your income, your body… who are you?

As my mentor, Elayne Kalila Doughty puts it, “Who was here from the very beginning? Who is the YOU behind the you? It’s the part of you – who that when you move into the room with no words, is felt.”

Can you identify that part of you?  I also had a hard time with this.

For so long I used what I was doing, what I was wearing, who I was seen with, how much I weighed, how many likes I got on my Facebook post…to define me. I was convinced that who I really was, my essence, that person who is left when all the red lipstick, ruffles, picnics and concealer is taken away, wasn’t good enough.

So I layered on the “show” in my friendships, my work, even with the people who love me the most – my family and my husband.  I became really good at the ruse, I built a beautiful life, had a great wardrobe and just tried to look happy all the time, but I was spending so much time on the outside, that I neglected the inside.  It was like I built this incredible castle, but the queen who lived there was wasting away.  And we all know, there’s no point in having a castle if there’s no queen living there.

Over the past three years, I have been working on peeling off the layers of my life to really get to know my inner self, my essence, my light.  Elayne calls this the Path of the Priestess, which in my heart means walking a path of truth and being a stand for what really matters in the world.  Being on this path is not comfortable, and honestly at times it’s excruciating to let go of the forms I have held onto so tightly.

But as I am spending more and more time thinking about how I am being and less what I am doing, I am discovering a constant flow of energy, peace and grounding that wasn’t there before. I’ve learned that a queen who truly knows and loves herself, her real self, doesn’t need a fancy castle to be powerful.

I am still very much on this path and fully committed to peeling off layer after layer. You’ll be seeing a lot more of the ME behind the me from now on.

Last week I was on a call with Elayne where she talked about this path and the effect it can have on you and the world. I was so moved that I pulled some strings and was able to get you the recording of this call (she’s doing me a favor, please tell her thanks) because I just knew as I was listening that you needed to hear it.  You can access the link here.

This work is important for many reasons, but the thing that struck me the most is how our bodies become such a big part of our identity.  We can go down this rabbit hole of “Since I am fat, that means that I am not disciplined, strong, powerful etc. so I can’t go out there and get what I want (the lover, the job, the vacation…)” So we hold back and wait till we get our weight situation handled.

But I have news for you, listen closely…

You are not your body.  YOU are amazing, powerful and brilliant just the way you are, just by being you.  You don’t have to DO anything to be loved, to matter.

And it’s time for you to show the world that part of you.  Only then, when we feel truly accepted and loved unconditionally by ourselves will we finally find peace with our bodies.

This video by Elayne explains what I’m talking about a bit more, and I hope you’ll listen to the recording of her call, it really woke me up.

Sending you, the real you, lots of love.


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