This is hard to admit

Blog · Your Body

I just got back from a week in Mexico with 19 other women business owners. I don’t think I’ve felt this inspired, supported and connected in a long time.

But I have to admit… I was nervous to go. Though we’ve been in a mastermind together since February, I felt a pressure to be perfect around these women…

…To report major growth in my business
…To show that I’ve evolved as a person
…And of course, to appear svelte and slim in my bikini

I have so much respect and admiration for these successful women, that I wanted to measure up.

As you can imagine, being in my industry makes it easy to feel like my size is intimately connected to my success.  And there’s no one I find more successful than my mastermind, so I was feeling very triggered.

On the second day of our retreat, we had to get up in front of the group and tell everyone how we were feeling and what we wanted to work on emotionally.

I worked up the courage to tell everyone that I was feeling fat. My pants have been a little snug the past month, nothing dramatic but enough to make me uncomfortable.

Not only did I feel embarrassed for feeling chubby, but I felt embarrassed that I even cared! So revealing how I was feeling felt like a huge risk, but I knew it was crucial for my growth as a woman, a member of this group and as a coach.

Here’s what I learned next:

Our leader, Marie Forleo, asked me if my thoughts were saying I was fat, or if my body felt fat. Though this is a question I ask my clients often, I needed to hear it for myself.  When I inquired within I realized that my thoughts were telling me that I was huge, no one was going to think I was legit, everyone thought I was weak and I would never get any clients again! (It’s amazing how mean our minds are sometimes).

But my body was saying, “yeah I’d probably like to lose a few pounds, but let’s just workout 6 days a week instead of 4. I’d like that.” No drama, just the truth and loving advice.

Outing myself also reminded me that feeling bad about my body didn’t make me less successful, it made me human. Some of the women opened up to me after and told me that they also had things that embarrassed them, and how healing it was for them to observe me being so vulnerable.

Growing up on the chubbier side, gave me a fear of rejection because of my body, so revealing my deepest insecurity to a group of gorgeous, fit, successful women and having them love and accept me, was one of the most healing moments of my body journey.

Not to mention, all of the women told me how beautiful my body is and how I don’t need to change a thing.  We all like to pretend that those things shouldn’t matter to us, but the reality is that the compliments feel damn good.

After that exercise, I paraded around proudly in my bikini (here’s a photo of us), felt more at home in my body and found myself naturally eating and drinking less without trying.

Here I am with Kristen Kalp, Nisha Moodley, Jenny Shih and Danielle Diamond. Hot bunch, eh?

When you reveal your private pain and embarrassment, you get the opportunity to feel accepted and to realize that you’re human, not broken. Tweet it!

So I want you to first, tell us on the blog how you’re feeling about your body. Just like I was worried that I would be seen as unsuccessful for feelig fat, what are you worried you’ll be judged for if you say it outloud?

And try to decifer what your mind is telling you is true (it’s probably telling you a bunch of lies).  Then, sink into your body and ask her what is really going on. I bet you’ll get a soft and honest response.

After you’ve practiced in the comments, I want you to think about who you need to out yourself to in your life. Your partner? Mother? Best friend? Group of friends? Close co-worker?

I know this is just about the scariest thing we can do, but I challenge you to take this next step towards creating a life and a body you deserve.

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