When you want to change but just keep f-ing up over and over again.

Blog · Your Body · Your Relationships · Your Self · Your Work

Today is a little bittersweet.  Yesterday was our last day of Live More Weigh Less, and this was my last week of coaching for my spring VIP clients.  These women came in with flat relationships, funless lives and hating their bodies and are leaving with a sense of adventure, incredible confidence, amazing relationships and strong businesses.  I couldn’t be more proud.

Throughout the program women were always asking me, why is that I know what to do, but I just can’t bring myself to do it?

Here’s why.

There are rules of living that a lot us live by.

Work hard, rest later
Down time = laziness
Work through lunch
Worth = how much you do for others
Be the last one to leave the office
Rushing makes me look important
Personal drama makes me sound interesting
Don’t enjoy your food, you’ll look like a glutton
I don’t have time for myself because of my kids/my business/my volunteering
Getting help means I’m weak
Having fun is a waste of time
Don’t eat dessert in public
Don’t act too happy, don’t be too rich, don’t appear relaxed.  It’s rude.

We follow these rules because on some level we believe that having a hard life will eventually make us happy, respected and rich. And someday we’ll have time to relax.

How’s that workin’ out for ya?

In my experience, these rules create women who are overworked, unhappy, exhausted, under romanced and unfulfilled, and happiness, relaxation and contentment never show up.  On top of that, food becomes their only acceptable break and source of happiness so our bodies take a beating.

So I do life a little differently. These are my rules:

Work smarter, not harder.
Downtime is a necessity for success
Every meal deserves to be an event
My worth is based on just being who I am, not what I do
Produce the best results, not put in the longest hours
Everyone is busy, it’s not interesting anymore
I am my number one priority
Fun, femininity and friends are my fuel
Have dessert first
We have the power to choose whatever life we want.
Be happy, share your success, model relaxation, it brings other women up.

How do those sound?  I’m guessing that because you’re here, you agree with a lot of my rules, but you’re still living by the traditional ones.  Why?  Why is that when we want something, we understand it, and we want to change so badly, that we still can’t frickin’ do it?

It’s because of your environment.

You see the people we hang out with, the house we live in, the people we work with, the shows we watch, the things we read, all create our environment.  And our environment is like a bungee cord tied around our waist, no matter how hard we try to change in spite of it, it always pulls us back.

Trying to change our eating habits while spending a ton of time with our friends who are all binge eaters is really hard.

Trying to take time for ourselves while working with a hundred workaholics is really hard.

Trying to feel relaxed in a messy house is really hard.

Sure you could do it, but it’s like trying to grow a flower in a dark room, it takes a really really long time.

You need to get that flower into the perfect environment to bloom.  A place that’s warm, sunny and full of other blooming flowers.

If you want to change your life (and fast), change your environment. Tweet it!

So what does that look like for you?  Maybe it’s meeting a new group of friends, redecorating, joining a book club, going on an extended vacation, subletting your apartment, or going on a retreat, we’ve got a great one coming up this fall.

Doing life differently is hard when everyone around you is following the rules, but when you can shake things up and change your environment, doing life differently is the most exciting, effortless and nourishing thing in the world.

In the comments below, I want to know how you’re going to change your environment? And if you’ve ever experienced how easy it is to change when you’re in a place that supports it?

I can’t wait to hear your plans and ideas.


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