“Weighed” A Poem
If you’ve been following me on Instagram and Facebook (if you haven’t, get on it), you’re slightly up to speed on my journey with my body since having Marshall. But I haven’t been sharing the whole story… until now.
I loved being pregnant. I felt amazing. I looked great. It was just easy. And then the last month I blew up like a balloon. I must’ve gained 40 pounds in 4 weeks. I am not exaggerating. I mean, I have stretch marks on my thighs. Last time I checked I wasn’t carrying a baby in my thighs.
When I had Marshall I believed all the stories… It’s just water weight, you’ll lose it right away. Breastfeeding burns so many calories. You’ll be way too busy to eat. None of this was true for me.
Instead I found myself dipping into patterns of overeating and hating my body. I wanted to hide, I wanted to snap my fingers and have it all go away. I REALLY didn’t want be a weight loss coach. Talk about the pressure!
Of course I considered going on a cleanse, who doesn’t? They can just sound sooo easy sometimes. But I knew from experience that those don’t work for me, and I had the opportunity to really walk my talk and get to work. I knew that it was time to put the Live More Weigh Less principles to the ultimate test, not just for me, but for all women who are feeling stuck and struggling. Here are the themes and strategies I got reacquainted with on my journey:
1. You do not need to be skinny to be happy. I was clear about what I needed to be happy, and went out and did those things. I went shopping, Jonathan and I started going out more to places that required a hot black dress instead of jeans and a t-shirt and I found as many excuses as I could to get in my bathing suit.
2. Women naturally gain and lose weight and it is unrealistic to think we can lose 30 pounds and stay at our perfect weight forever. Life happens. The key is to roll with it, to not let it hold you back, and continue to take care of yourself so you can move towards your ideal weight again.
3. You are never cured from emotional eating, you just learn how to use it to your benefit. When I found myself eating ice cream after dinner every night, I didn’t get caught in the never-ending spiral of self-hatred, I instead asked myself, “what am I getting from the ice cream that I am missing in my life? How can I add more of what I need into my life?”
4. The only way to lose weight is to ask yourself what you want MORE than being thin. For a good chunk of time I was caught in this trap of telling myself, “I have to lose weight, I have to lose weight, stop eating, work out more, stop eating…” and then I remembered my own core strategy in Live More Weigh Less: what do I want more than losing weight? I want to be calm, present, alive and connected to my intuition. Eating pastries every day does not help me accomplish that goal. The habit was just a distraction from really feeling what was happening in my heart and keeping me totally amped on sugar and refined flour. Now when I go to the counter I ask myself, “Do I want a croissant or do I want to feel at ease?” Ease has been winning more and more.
5. Stop waiting on the weight. When I went back to work I dove head first into the rebrand of SarahJenks.com and Live More Weigh Less. I’m expanding my team and hiring a hot shot publicist. I’m going BIG. And I’m the biggest I’ve ever been. There was a week when I was ready to push pause, for like, a year. Or throw it all out the window and become an interior designer instead. And again I caught myself, stop waiting on the weight, Sarah! So I signed all the contracts and shelled out the cash. No going back now.
6. No hiding. I had this idea to do a challenge, and then I realized I had to post pictures of myself on the internet. Hmmmm. But as you heard last week, the challenge is happening, and I am psyched for it. I want to show you that your body does not have to hold you back from having the life you want. We all deserve to be seen, we all deserve to have an amazing life, regardless of our weight. This is exactly what this Fall’s challenge is about, and I hope you’ll join me.
I knew when I decided to do this work, that it was not going to be easy for me. I am not naturally thin nor do I effortlessly pass on dessert. I chose to do this work because I get how hard it is, and I am very committed to figuring out how to get over the pain, so I can help you do the same.
P.S. I don’t want you to miss out, to sign up for the Live More Weigh Less Fall Challenge, visit LMWLChallenge.com.
Simple actions to take your life back, know your worth & feel alive no matter how drained, overwhelmed and far gone you feel.