Dear Woman Who Says She Can’t Afford Things, But Actually Can

Dear Woman who says she can’t afford things, but actually can,

I see you buying that car, those nice clothes for your kids, the top of the line washing machine, the expensive bottle of wine, the best anti-wrinkle cream…

And I see you saying you can’t afford child care, that therapy is too expensive, that a weekend retreat just isn’t in the cards…

Beloved, you can afford it. And you do have the time… I am just so sorry that our culture has stolen the truth from you, has made you blind to how much you deserve to have the support that would truly allow you to lean back, rest your feet and your heart and feel held, after a lifetime of holding everyone else.

Women have been brainwashed to believe we don’t have needs. Women have been brainwashed to believe that our beauty and physical shape is more important than our emotional well-being. Women have been brainwashed to believe that men can have whatever they want, but we can’t. Women have been brainwashed to believe that whoever is making the money has the financial power and the final say on how it’s spent (beloved, you do know that they couldn’t go to work without you taking care of the children and the house right?) Women have been brainwashed to believe that having time for ourselves, our own life, is a luxury instead of a necessity.  We’ve been brainwashed to believe that we should just be able to figure it out for ourselves.

It’s time to heal from that brainwashing.

So, I’m curious what you need more of? Time to yourself so you can replenish and hear yourself think or a new bike for your kid? Do you need 5 sessions of couples therapy to save your marriage or that membership to a wine club? Do you need that new blouse or the down payment to a retreat to awaken your soul?

Your children can be well dressed, your home immaculate, and you can throw beautiful dinner parties with the best wine, but if you are a wrung out rag with no life force, only resentment and exhaustion dripping from your slouched shoulders, it’s not a life.

You contain great power that can only emerge when you are rested, whole and held. Spend money on the things that will actually make a difference, beloved. Reclaim your spending power.

Whole Woman is a place where you can feel held and supported. If it’s a match, I’d love to have you. If it’s not this, spend money on something that will deeply nourish you.

Moonday Journaling

1. What are all the things you spend money on that you don’t truly “need’?
2. Why do you spend money on those things?
3. Approximately, how much money do you spend on those things?
4. What are the deeply nourishing things you want to spend money on but often say you can’t afford?
5. How much do those cost?
6. If you spend less on the “things” can you now afford the support that matters? Even if you previously thought it doesn’t matter as much?
7. Do you feel safe to make those financial decisions on your own? Why or why not? What makes you nervous about it?

Say it with me: “I have plenty of money and I reclaim my spending power.”

Love,

Sarah