False Start? Or Emotional Bootcamp?


The past 10 days have kicked my butt.  For weeks, I was so excited for 2020. I could feel the momentum and energy building.  I could so clearly see our collective assignment and sacred invitation.

And then my nanny got sick the first full week of 2020, and all of my excitement got lost in the day to day of motherhood. Today, my first day back at work since mid December, I’m not feeling like my best self, and really bummed about it.  I’m feeling behind, drained and resentful. It feels like a false start.

Of course, my intention for 2020 was to, what I’m calling, “Find my Mother Soul” which I thought would be a gentle unraveling of beliefs and patterns.  But when you set an intention like that, just before a lunar eclipse and a major astrological event that we had on Sunday with Saturn Conjunct with Pluto (I’ll explain in a second), the Universe is going to give you a blatant and often jarring lesson.

The cosmic events of this past weekend have affected all of us, whether or not we follow astrology.  Both the Lunar Eclipse and Saturn Conjunct Pluto have created a vacuum that is forcing us to let go of toxic patterns, relationships, business deals, identities that are holding us back from becoming the best versions of ourselves.  If you want more information, is a great resource.

I find that astrology can often be best understood, looking back.

What has been hard for you so far this year?

What has felt like a nuisance or going backward?

What fights did you get in this weekend?

What have you been forced to let go of?

What if all of the things that have felt hard are actually incredible lessons we’re meant to learn in order to become our true selves? 

This is the question I’m sitting with.  This is the stance I’m taking, even though it feels excruciating and I just want to skip over the hard stuff and hang out in the good vibes. But I’m not here for a life of spiritual by-passing, and I’m guessing, you aren’t either.

I so deeply wished I would feel on top of the world as we went into this year, but being dragged into the darkness of my belief systems around motherhood is, I know, what I need the most.

Last night, I had the honor of being interviewed by Samantha Kelly for her “It’s Not about the Food” Program (it’s free) about our individual “Soul Schools” and how to navigate a spiritual life that seems to be filled with lessons.  We also talked about internalized patriarchy, emotional drinking, and owning and celebrating our femininity. I hope it can provide some clarity and grounded in what has been a wild start to 2020! Click here to join for free.

In the coming weeks, I’ll hopefully be sharing a very uplifting, inspiring call to action for 2020, but I’m going to wait until it’s fully cooked, and I feel that frequency in my system.  For now, keep looking at the hard stuff and analyzing why things are happening.

Here are some questions to journal on:

How is this happening FOR you? (Instead of TO you?)

What chapter is this in the great book of your life?

How can you show up for the initiation?

What tough conversations do you need to have?

How can you get support about what is hard right now?

AND how can you take care of yourself through this time?

Remember, you are being trained for greatness.  We are all being called to play a bigger game this year.  I know you can feel it.

This isn’t the false start, this is the boot camp that is preparing us for the great evolution our planet is ready for.

All my love,


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