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How to Deal with an Inner Work Resistant Partner

Blog · Your Relationships


If you’re feeling hesitant to even look at the program because you’re convinced that your partner won’t want to do it, worried about opening a can of worms or you’re nervous to talk to them, I need you to take a deep breath and lean in here for a minute.

Ignoring the problems in your marriage does not make them go away or prevent you from being affected by them.

So, I want to give you a few tips to get your partner excited to take Modern Marriage with you.

    1. Send your partner this recording from our first orientation. We share who we are, about our marriage journey, and exactly what to expect in our new program, Modern Marriage.
    2. Head over to Instagram and watch my interview with Jonathan where we talk about this exact topic.
    3. Watch this video if you are feeling afraid of your husband.
    4. Be very clear about your desire to take this program. Most women will downplay how much they want to do something for fear of “asking for too much” or “being too needy”, so they will throw something randomly into a conversation right before bed or while you’re cleaning the kitchen. Often because of your flippant tone, your partner doesn’t get how much something means to you, or how important it is, so they dismiss it, ignore you or push off the conversation to later.

      Do this instead: Tell your partner you want to have an important conversation with them, and ask them when would be a good time. Sit down at the table or on the couch and make eye contact. Really own that you want this with your presence, and share how important this is to you. You could say simply “I love you so much, and I want to have a really amazing marriage. I’ve noticed that BOTH of us (own your role) have created some dynamics that aren’t healthy and I’d love to take this course to guide us through it.”  Then just listen to their response and STAY CALM. It’s normal to have resistance. Just ask them to continue hearing you out and answer all their questions.

    5. Have them come to their own decision. Just send them to ModernMarriage.us and say, “Hey babe! This looks great, want to do this together? Will you read through this whole page before dinner tonight and we can talk about it after the kids go to sleep?” Be direct and clear, and then see what happens. If he’s not a yes, you can sign up for an upcoming orientation. Can’t make it live? Still register! Everyone who does will be sent the recording.
    6. Have him hear from Jonathan. Jonathan wrote this note for men who are on the fence, you can send him to this page here.

It’s OK, you can do this, I’m here for you.

Just admitting that we had a problem started me on the most transformative path of my life. And I would love to walk it with you every step of the way.

It wasn’t easy to admit and I took a couple of big conversations for Jonathan to really understand how serious I was about us making some really big changes inside of our marriage, but it was worth the discomfort. I hope you’ll lean in, and do the same for yourself and your partner.

When you’re both all in to take Modern Marriage, you can sign up HERE.

See you there!


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