Worry that if you start to feel good, you won’t like your life anymore?
I’ve been thinking about the heart-ache at our child’s education and lives being tossed and turned into such an unnatural form. I’ve been holding space for the grief from my friends and clients, listening to their hearts breaking for their kids that there will be no senior musical, no gym class, no field hockey, no prom… and I’ve noticed, that no one is talking about sadness of spending fewer days in the Chemistry lab or discussing the American Revolution with their classmates.
It’s the community, the rites of passage and the rituals that we will miss.
So much of our lives, our communities, our milestones are tied up in our schools, and it’s been largely stripped away.
I was so mad for so long. How could so many parts of society be crumbling in front of us?
But then I took a sacred perspective, and I could see the possibility that this is happening for us.
What if in the absence of school, we can actually create a village?
What if instead of gathering in the high school parking lot, the boys go camping with the men?
What if instead of the girls talking behind each other’s backs in the bathroom, they’re circling with the women and talking about their menstrual cycle?
What if instead of getting drunk for the first time, there’s a coming of age ritual?
What if instead of little kids bonding over the monkey bars, they run free amongst the trees?
School, and everything that goes with it, has become our village, but I’m not sure it’s a very good one. I’m not knocking the education, I was very well-served in the public school system, but I wonder if in the absence of all of the things that surround education we can finally find the space, and the bone-deep necessity for support and community, and actually create something that’s nurturing, soulful, and on purpose.
So much of our lives BC (before covid) have been by accident, by following the rules, by being on auto-pilot, by not questioning anything… I believe we’re sitting with a remarkable opportunity for us to take back the village, to take back our rituals and our milestones, and to ask ourselves the question: What do I want?
This process of going from living by accident to living on purpose is how we go from a Patriarchy to a Matriarchy. I want you to know that you don’t need an institution to create community, you don’t need an institution to create support, you don’t need an institution to create milestones and challenges for your kids. You can create that.
School has given us a culture to exist in, and now that this culture is crumbling, what are you going to create in its place?
My wish is that parents everywhere start to think for themselves. To ask what they need to feel supported and what they wish for their children… to be vulnerable and brave and invite other families into a deeply intimate relationship, one that is not typical in the country. We’ve been forced into isolation for too long, and it’s time to come back together.
It’s time to re-weave the village.
If you’re interested in brainstorming ideas and finding like-minded people in your area, this conversation is currently happening in the Whole Woman community and we’d love to have you.
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