What to say when someone asks when you’re due, but you aren’t…

Happy Moonday,

Before I dive into today’s topic, I want to remind you that I’m hosting a free workshop tomorrow for women who haven’t found their purpose yet… even if it feels too late, you’re worried it’s going to be too much work, or you’re scared you don’t have what it takes. We have thousands of women signed up, and I hope you’ll join us by clicking here.

OK, sooo… when someone mistakes you for being pregnant. Yikes. It’s the worst.  It’s so painful for you, it’s really embarrassing for them (a lot of us go straight into taking care of their embarrassed feelings instead of our own shame) and I’m here to tell you exactly what to do.

This has happened to me a few times, and Marshall asks me at least once a week if I’m having a baby. Oy vey.

Next time someone asks you when you’re due, and you aren’t pregnant, here’s what I think you should say:

“I’m not pregnant. Women’s bodies and stomachs come in all shapes and sizes and just because women don’t have flat stomach, doesn’t mean she’s pregnant.”

Let me break down why this response is so important:

1. Asking a woman if she’s pregnant is the ultimate example of our culture’s obsession with women having athletic, masculine, thin bodies.  One is assuming that if a woman does fit into a cultural ideal, that she must be with child. This response highlights the person’s own internalized bias.
2. The truth is that MOST women’s bellies are soft and protrude, whether or not they’ve had children.
3. THIS IS IMPORTANT: If you are hurt by someone asking if you’re pregnant, that is your own shame of your body being triggered. It hurts because you haven’t accepted your body for how it is.  And by claiming out loud that all bodies come is different shapes, you can claim for yourself that you are perfect the way you are.  Imagine if someone was like, “Oh, did you cut your hair?” And you’re like, “nope.” you wouldn’t go into a week long tailspin. Long or short hair, flat or round belly, it’s just how you look. It’s our culture that has assigned a value to it.
4. I have a hypothesis that the patriarchy has brainwashed us into categorizing women into “Pregnant” and “Not Pregnant” because in a patriarchal society, or main use and cultural worth is based on our procreation.  So our brains jump to those conclusions because it is assumed that women “should” have children. But the truth is that many women don’t want to and aren’t meant to (on a soul level) have kids, and their role in society is equally as important.  When we start to not assume that all women want kids, we’ll stop assuming that all round bellies have a baby in it.

If you found this helpful, PLEASE share it with a girlfriend.  I really feel like if women are armed with a quick, conscious and feminist repsonse (and understand all of the patriarchal brainwashing that goes into this mix up) we can do a lot for the acceptance of women’s bodies.

Love,

Sarah

P.S.  Will I see you tomorrow?