What Happens When A Life Falls Apart – A Story About Magic
There’s something larger at play here, no one can deny it. Even the non-believers are feeling the shift.
But last week I found myself clinging to my humanness – the news, to my friends perspectives, to the fear.
Fear makes me feel in control. Prepared for danger.
I went into overdrive, my fight or flight kicked on. I was ready to fight off invaders. Ready to do anything to feed my children.
I could feel my inner animal at the grocery store, ravenous for the last pack of string cheese, fear stricken by the empty coolers of organic chicken.
Parts of me could remember the beginnings of war from past lives, the empty streets, the silence, the whispers of mass destruction. “Close your doors” “stock up” “do you have a bunker?” “it’s worse than we thought.”
My fear kept me in a place of either waiting to die, or pretending nothing is going on and that everything will pass and we will get back to normal.
Neither – my soul tells me.
Many people will die.
Most will not. From this.
But life will be anything but normal.
So I ask myself: Is it insensitive to take this invitation to stand in the truth that this is our great awakening?
That this is the wake up call?
I hear from my deepest truth: We must heed the wake up call BECAUSE people are dying.
So I ask you, my friend, is your life one worth living?
Would you choose it out of a lineup?
Do you feel fully expressed?
Free to be your whole self with everyone you come into contact with?
Do you have enough time to rest?
Do you laugh and dance and play?
Do you have sex that blows your mind and leaves you turned inside out with tears streaming down your face?
Can you spend as much time with the slow wave of the trees and the steady flow of your breath as you can with your phone?
I know you have wondered these things before. You’ve gotten the message before that the life you have created without intention and presence isn’t your destiny. It isn’t your highest and most joyful path.
Messages have come from your body.
The feeling unseen.
The working, cleaning, prepping, giving just to put off a disappointed look or scolding remark.
The moments of clarity and magic which are quickly followed by the shut down of our internalized fear of being YOU.
Fear of eye rolls, rejection, laughter, distance, silence… of one not agreeing and you knowing that you will abandon your knowing again to align with another, so it’s easier just to pretend you know nothing and keep your mouth shut.
But here you are.
A ripping away.
This time is not a break. There’s nothing rejuvenating about trying to keep your work going while taking care of the children. There’s nothing enlivening about being alone in your apartment for weeks. There’s nothing great about not knowing how you’re going to feed your children or keep a roof over your head.
This is deeply uncomfortable.
I just keep getting the vision of a Woman having a baby.
Our lives so far have been like we’re in utero. When it’s all we know, it’s fine. Maybe a bit dark.
This moment in time is like labor. We’re in the birth canal. It’s painful. There’s screaming. Perhaps lots of static. We are being smushed so hard we fear we may explode.
In this moment we can either think we’re dying, or we can focus on what we are becoming.
And we can let go, and let our Mother do the work she needs to do, to birth a new life. For you. And anyone who chooses to listen to the wake up call.
If you’ve been waiting for something big to happen in order for you to feel permission to create the life you actually want… well, this is obviously it. Spirit’s great big permission slip to do whatever the F you want with the rest of your life.
Because, again, we will honor the lives lost by having a life worth living.
There is a whole life for you on the other side of this, and you have a chance to sit alone in your room and be brave enough to ask yourself if you would choose your life out of a lineup.
And then you can be brave enough to write down what you actually want.
And then you can be brave enough to say it to your partner, to your friends, to your kids, to your parents.
You are allowed to want more.
Because when you want more for your life…
You will naturally step out of the system that is built to keep people mindlessly working, glued to the phone so advertisers make a ton of money, stripping our Earth of natural resources while seizing indigenous lands and grossly underpaying marginalized workers.
You wanting more for your life breaks the system that keeps people stuck in a place of having less.
Because what we really want is to pick our heads up from the rat race and have enough time, space and presence to let our hearts break about the inequities, and have the energy to do something about it.
Living a Sacred Feminine life means that I search for the greater meaning in everything, and tune into the cycles of our becoming. This pregnant, labor, new life, death cycle.
And I believe that there is a path for all of us that is the highest, most joyful, purposeful, impactful way, and many of us have taken the path that others have chosen for you.
The path that others choose, is not the best path for you, is it the path that benefits them.
You having a small and obedient life means the people around you don’t have to come face to face with their own pain of knowing that they too have chosen a small and obedient life.
So here you are.
A sacred pause.
A global wake up call.
Are you going to accept the invitation?
You are allowed to want more for your life. And you can have whatever you want.