May 2016

This is what “thin” feels like

Most of the time the drive to be thin comes from the idea that we will feel a certain way when we “get there”. Like, when you’re thin, you’ll feel carefree and at ease.

But when we get home from a long day and our insides are wound tight, all we want is to feel carefree and at ease, so we eat to smooth down our ruffled feathers.

Can you see the issue here? We get caught in the cycle of struggle. The thing that gets us the feeling we most desire in the moment is the very thing that is at odds with our plan to lose weight so we can be in that state of carefree all time.  Read that line again because it’s important to get.

The big secret, and I hate to break it to you, is that neither “thin” nor food will deliver your desires. Only an experience will.

Last night as I strolled across an open field at dusk after spending the afternoon alternating between soaking in the hot tub and meditating in the sauna, I felt so alive. I was on my way to eat with my friend Jadah Sellner’s Mentorship Lab group at one of the best restaurants in San Francisco. The stars were coming out, the Golden Gate Bridge was glowing and my long, silk dress was delicately brushing against the blades of grass.


This is what I thought thin would feel like. And here it is, so accessible, so real.

The life you’re craving is here. All you have to do is experience it.

In a few weeks I’m hosting another Live More Challenge where I’ll be holding your hand through creating daily experiences.  It is always a fun and deeply transformational process for thousands of women, I hope you’ll join us this year! It’s free and you can sign up here.

And in the comments below I would love to know, what do you think “thin” will feel like?  How can you create that experience right now?



P.S. Being a woman with a body is complicated, and we need each other to move through some of these sticky spots.  If you know someone who may find this helpful, I hope you’ll send them this article.  Why stay on the surface when we can get deep and real with each other?

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  • It was so funny to get this particular blog message today because I had an “ah ha” moment yesterday that was very much about “what thin feels like”. I saw myself in a mirror and my jeans were really ill-fitting. They were tight and uncomfortable at the waist and really droopy around my butt. Looked bad AND felt bad. So, I went to the GAP and got jeans in a different style in a size that wasn’t tight and walking around feeling good and in clothes that complemented my shape felt wonderful. I “feel thin” without actually changing my weight. It’s really important to get well-fitting clothing. I kept waiting to invest in new clothes for when I lost weight. But, why live today feeling so “blah”?

    • Hi, Sharon, I am so happy to hear you did this for yourself and feel thin without actually changing your weight. It’s little re-frames like this that make a huge difference. Hope you will join us for the challenge.

  • I absolutely love this challenge and last time I had just moved from a tiny apartment to a house with a claw foot tub so anytime I want to feel thin and carefree I take a bubble bath with a glass of wine and a book and I don’t feel guilty about it, but rejuvenated every time.

    • Hi, Liz, I am so happy to hear you love the challenge. Bubble baths are amazing- so transformative. Hope to see you in the challenge in a few weeks.

  • lynn

    I think so much of what women want in terms of this feeling is the feeling of being good enough– like” when I am thin I will be good enough to go out and get what I want because I’ll look right. Then I can go get that man and not be rebuffed. I can go get that job because I will look the part.” Generally I think this is about confidence; “I am thin– aka hot– hence I feel good about myself and people will pick up on that and the world will be my oyster.’ I think this is the mindset a lot of women have. I was with a bunch of women from my church last night and one of the ladies likes this guy and we urged her to call and ask him out and she did it and he said yes! And the first thing she said when she came back to the room was like this date is in two weeks and I have that amount of time to lose 20 pounds. Um, no. Meanwhile she was the same person urging me to see myself as gorgeous as I was feeling very insecure about a guy I had been hanging out with. He would consistently say that to me and I would be like this is b.s. and he is feeding me a line to get from point A to point B.

    • Thank you for sharing this, Lynn. What can you do to experience this feeling of confidence more in your life? The upcoming Live More Weigh Less Challenge has super fun and inspiring ways to bring this and more to your life. It would be wonderful if you could join us!

  • April

    I think that the feeling of being thin would be to not be aware/concerned about what my body looks like every minute of the day. Being overweight, I feel like I am always pulling at my clothes, always concerned if my tummy is bulging over my pants when I sit down. To me, being thin would have a feeling contentment. It’s funny though, because I have gone up and down in weight my whole life and when I look back at some pictures I think, wow…I looked so great then, but I didn’t feel content at the time.

    • Hi April, I definitely can relate to this. I find the more I focus on having more joy and fun in my life, the less I am worried about what my body looks like and I feel that contentment you speak of. Thank you so much for sharing.

  • Whitney

    Thin will feel like….. BLISS. I am learning that “thin” is just a word. This concept is different for everyone. Some want a big bubble butt while others wish for a small one. I want curves and she wants none. Ideal would be 120 for you and for me 160. The thought that there is a one size fits all to this goal of thin is miserable. I am now understanding that thin is much like beauty. It is in the eye of the beholder, it is different for everyone, it’s real strength lies in the fact that it encompasses all of us.Thin feels like freedom and self love. Thin feels like happiness and laughter. Thin feels like a mindset of positive choices in my real life. Thin feels like hope and support.

    • Hi Whitney,
      Your note brought a huge smile to my face. It’s such a huge transformation when we can see as you so beautifully put- it is different for everyone. Thank you for your message.

  • “Thin” is just a word, but we give it so much power! And I think we do the same with “fat.” These words are just simple adjectives about the (relative) size of a person’s body. They mean nothing in the grand scheme of things and I wish we wouldn’t associate them with our or other people’s worth. We are inherently worthy and beautiful, and we need to find joy and peace in ourselves and our experiences. Thank you so much for this great reminder that we can feel the way we dream of feeling right here, right now. We just need to go out and experience life. 🙂

    • Hi Kirsten- So glad to hear this resonated. I appreciate your comment about experiencing life. Life is to be lived- right here in this present moment. Thank you!

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