What Happens When A Life Falls Apart – A Story About Magic
For the longest time, I couldn’t see or feel how I was supposed to be in the depths of motherhood and the expanse of my work. For many of us, we are the first generation that is tasked with doing both, and this new territory has been elusive for me.
I want to be in it with my kids. To know their hearts and dreams intimately. I want to be there when they get off the bus and gather them up in kind, expansive, grounded arms.
I also want to reach millions and shift our culture around women’s inner emotional freedom and spirituality. Many (not all) revolutionaries I see are childless or work all the time. How can I have an impact in the world and at home?
To me, the answer IS what we are searching for as women. We should not have to reject one part of ourselves to have another, and finding how our mother-self and our revolutionary-self are related makes both roles feel easier.
To go through this portal, and feel it in my body more deeply, I asked my friend Robin Sandomirsky to start a group and hold a group of women in this inquiry. I know that when women gather, magic takes over and the transformation happens without a lot of processing or “trying”. We gathered in Robin’s kitchen for four Mondays, shared our experiences, did mindfulness practices, took flower essences, and held space for each other’s transformation.
I discovered that in my work, I was pushing too hard, so in motherhood, I was tired, and not trying hard enough. I wasn’t showing up as my most authentic self in either place, but the imbalance in one was affecting the imbalance in the other. When I started “radiating” in my work instead of pushing (feel the difference?) I tapped into a sustainable energy source, and now I can use that same source to radiate in motherhood and actually be the spiritual leader of my family (a term I learned from Amy Ahlers). I also felt shifts in a past life and ancestral trauma and a general “lifting” of belief systems around being a bad mom.
My online course and community, Whole Woman is based on the truth that just as the elements (water, earth, fire and air) need each other to make life, so do we need to balance and integrate all of the elements of our life. To deepen in these specific areas of my life has been so liberating because I now feel like I can expand in the world without hurting my kids, and I can be there for my kids without giving up on my dreams.
If this is something you struggle with, here are some things for you to sit with…
Ask yourself about your elements and if any feel in competition, like work and motherhood did for me.
What are the beliefs you are currently holding as true?
Are you truly showing up as your true self in the areas?
Or are you following a certain set of “rules”?
How is one imbalance creating another?
What does it feel like to be in your purest essence?
How does that apply to your work, motherhood, friendships, partnership, and self care?
Remember, your elements are not in competition (even though we’ve been taught to choose) the truth is that there is a common thread that makes everything work.
If you want to go deeper, I’d love for you to join us in my monthly membership program, Whole Woman. Held in a sacred container, you’ll be supported in ending the patterns of over-giving, exhaustion, overwhelm, dissatisfaction, and disconnection from the spirit and calling forward your desires, aliveness, and what YOU want to do.
Lots of love,
P.S. One woman who I know and look up to so much for really being such a revolutionary and an incredible mother is my friend Briana Borten. Briana’s life coaching certification program is currently opening for enrollment and I can’t recommend the program or her guidance, love and leadership enough. You can learn more here: Dragon Tree Life Coaching Program.