• 15
    Mar 2018

    Struggle with balancing motherhood, work and self-care? My radical approach may trigger you.

    This post might trigger you. But since I’m more dedicated to my truth than your comfort, I’m going for it.

    When I lived by the belief that “nothing was more important than my kids,” I really struggled.  Leaving them every morning to take my laptop to a cafe to hustle from 9-5 sent me into a spiral of guilt.  

    I’m such a terrible mother. They really need me at home. They are going to feel so abandoned. Are they going to go through life feeling unsafe?

    Then I’d spend my days doing all of the things a “good business woman” should do. So much adrenaline, anxiety, and pressure pumped through my veins as I designed Facebook ad campaigns and marketing funnels that followed all the rules. 

    And when it was time to go home, I dreaded the evenings with my kids. I was so tired from work that I felt like the least qualified woman to be a parent.  

    After weeks of pushing, I’d finally force myself to get a massage and I’d feel so guilty that I was on the table doing something for me instead of wanting to spend time with my kids.

    So many “shoulds.”

    So much guilt.

    So much pushing.

    Does this happen to you?

    It wasn’t until I invested 6 figures in a huge program launch and didn’t make it back, not to mention I didn’t make the 6 months of living expenses my family was counting on, that I completely lost it.

    I wasn’t happy with my business and I wasn’t even making any money.

    I wasn’t happy with my kids and I never got to see them.

    I wasn’t taking care of myself.

    And Jonathan and I were constantly fighting.

    All of the sacrifices weren’t paying off. 

    But I just felt so caught in the spiral and had no idea how to get out.

    I started with crying. And crying and crying. 

    At the bottom of my despair was a message:

    What do you want?

    Such a simple question…and I had no idea how to answer it.

    I had been so caught up in the rules, thinking that if I followed them then I’d make a lot of money, have time for my kids, get the self-care I needed, and would feel rested and bubbly enough to be nice to my husband… but the rules kept me from tuning into what I wanted and what was going to work for ME.

    I had damaged the phone line to my soul and the silence I felt when I tried to tune in scared the shit out of me.

    I started to notice all the ways I was letting everyone else’s opinion dictate how I lived. I was like a sailboat with no rudder, just being tossed around and capsized with every gust.

    So I got help.  

    I became a Priestess in a Mystery School, did therapy with Jonathan, my son, and solo, and I enlisted Katina Mercadante, a spiritual innovator and strategist. I went to Tulum, Mexico, to reawaken my sensuality, I bathed naked on the cliffs of the Pacific Ocean to meet my soul with Sera Beak. Became a Spirit Weaver, danced naked in the rain with a Brazilian shaman, made a deerskin drum in ceremony with Brook and Shola from The Golden Drum Community, learned sex magic from Achintya Devi of Goddess Rising. 

    I’ve worked with functional medicine doctors to reach a new level of health I’ve never experienced before and moved from San Francisco back to the land of my ancestors in order to carry out the next season of my work.

    And through it all, I realized that my only option is to do whatever I want.

    (This is the triggering part.)

    I stopped thinking about what my kids wanted.
    I stopped thinking about what Jonathan wanted.
    I stopped caring about what my clients and audience wanted.
    I stopped asking about what my friends and family thought I should do.

    All I cared about was what I wanted.

    But here’s the cool part…

    When I allowed myself to think about how I wanted to spend my days, how I wanted to feel with my kids, how I wanted to mother, the memories I wanted to have with them, what I needed from my marriage, how I wanted to express myself through my work, what my body and soul needed in self-care, travel, spirituality, friendship and fun… I realized that I wasn’t as much of a monster as I thought I was, and I didn’t need a bunch of rules to keep me in line.

    As I started to create a life around what I wanted, I saw so many amazing changes…

    1. My son, who had felt distant and unsettled since he was born, became calmer and more connected to me and started sleeping better.
    2. My business had the best profits I’ve ever experienced.
    3. My relationship with Jonathan was less explosive and more loving.
    4. My energy, sensuality, and glow returned.
    5. I felt a deep connection to my soul and the magic that exists around me.
    6. I manifested a pipe dream of owning a retreat center in Massachusetts.

    We’ve been taught that doing what we want will make everyone else worse off. This is a lie to keep women from accessing our power.  

    Think about it, if we’re running around exhausted and confused about why we’re so miserable, we’ll never challenge the status quo.  

    So I’m curious, what do you want?  If you could just start over, what would be your ideal?

    You can have your ideal… Maybe not today, maybe not even this year, but if you start the process of asking, you will wake up one day and have a life that blows your mind because it is in total alignment with your soul.

    If you get caught in the lie that having what you want is just for “the lucky ones,” then you’ve written your own sentence.

    If you want this to be possible for you or you’re craving a community of women who are standing up and saying, “WHAT I WANT MATTERS!” then I’d love for you to consider joining me in Whole Woman: an online sanctuary and monthly membership to get support in creating a life that is yours.

    You can learn all about the program, what’s included, and if it’s right for you here: Whole Woman Enrollment Page.

    I really hope we get the opportunity to sink into this new way of living, parenting, and loving together. Please reach out if you have any questions.


    Events at the Moon Lodge!

    • Yoga Every Wednesday from 9:30am–10:30am.
      Get details here.
    • 6-Week Yoga Series hosted by Melissa Holm: remaining dates are March 15 & 22, 9:30am–10:30am.
      For more information, email – you can still join!
    • Sensual Yoga Every Friday from 10:00am–11:00am.
      Get details here.
    • Ignite Your Intuition Workshop hosted by Chantelle Williamson on Saturday, March 24th, 1:00pm–4:00pm.
      Sign up here:
    • Re-Source Your-Self Workshop with Lauren Durso on Sunday, March 25th, 2:00pm–6:00pm.
      Sign up here:
    • Sacred Business Circle: a 1-day business retreat hosted by me on Friday, April 20th, 9:00am–6:00pm.
      Get details and register here to join in person or via livestream.
    • Deep Detox with Functional Nutritionist + Yoga Teacher Erin Holt on Saturday, April 21st, 12:00pm–3:00pm. 
      Sign up here: 
    • Dreamful Daycation with Lauren Durso on Saturday, May 12th, 8:30am–5:30pm.
      Sign up here:
    • Wellness Rituals for Motherhood with Karoline Barwinski and Mara Grbenick, May 6th, 10:00am–2:00pm.
  • 12
    Mar 2018

    The most damaging lie you’ve been told over and over again

    Recently, I’ve become obsessed with women waking up to their power. Power doesn’t need to be honed or taught in women, it’s innate! It’s in us from birth, that pure fire of action, opinion, magic, rage, morality and love. This power is unruly and unpredictable… and they’ve spent thousands of years hiding our power from us.

    Let me say that again: hiding our power from us – they did not, COULD NOT, take it away.  

    Who is they? The Patriarchy. Remember, the Patriarchy is not “men” but the idea that the masses should be controlled by a few men in power.  

    So maybe you’re wondering why you can’t seem to create the life you can see in your heart.  Why you know that you’re meant to carry out an incredible existence, but when you look back on your days, you’re just so dissatisfied. And you just feel stuck. 

    And there’s a lot of self-help types out there who will tell you to just amp up the mantras and think positive thoughts.  

    I disagree.

    I believe that truly creating a life that is YOURS takes understanding all of the toxic, hidden, insidious ways women have been blinded to our power. This is not a flaw you have, this is the way we’ve all been brainwashed. They want us to wander around dissatisfied and confused… that keeps us from challenging their power.  

    When you join me on March 13th at 7pm ET for my free online workshop, Lost in the Shuffle of Your Life? How to Pull Forward Your Alive, Confident, Soulful Self, I’m going to be giving you the enlightening truth of all the ways your power has been hidden from you (it’s really going to piss you off).

    AND exactly what you need to do to wake up to the intense power and magnificence of who you really are. 

    You can reserve your spot for free here.

    When I started learning about all the lies I’d been told by society over and over again (lies that I had fully adopted as truth), I could finally connect with my own power and use it to create the most connected, self-expressed, impactful, and exciting life I could possibly imagine. I became unstoppable. 

    This is possible for you, and all it takes is for someone to shed some light on the lies. I’m bringing the fire! I hope you’ll be there.


    P.S. When you attend the workshop live at 7pm ET, you’ll receive my “Sacred Living” Playlist! 100 songs to add more magic and inspiration to your daily life.  All those songs you hear on my Instastories, now in one place for you to download and use in your life. To reserve your spot for free and get your playlist, CLICK HERE

    P.P.S. This message is something I believe women can really rally around.  If you have some friends who would be into this, will you forward them this email?  It’s so much easier to make changes when the people around us are doing the same thing.  

  • 08
    Mar 2018

    Struggling to find balance? I have an idea.

    I hear this from my friends and clients all.the.time… I just can’t find a balance between taking care of my kids, running the house, getting my work done, and finding time for myself! 

    Do you ever feel like at the end of the day, week, month, or even year, that there’s nothing left for you? Like when you look back, the best you can say is that you survived?

    The problem is that when we stay in this survival spiral, when we feel like we have all of these things we have to tend to before we can take time to tend to our own well-being and dreams, we miss the whole point of being alive – to enjoy it and leave a mark… no matter the scale. 

    Maybe when you look at all of the things you’re doing, so much of it sounds fun, it’s things you want to do, so why does the actual experience of doing them feel so draining? Why does it feel like no matter how hard you try, you can’t find balance? It’s just go, go, go all the freaking time?!

    This is the conclusion I’ve come to:

    Women are doing a bunch of shit we don’t want to do. 

    And all of this stuff we don’t want to do is taking up so much space in our days, but we don’t even acknowledge that we’re doing it because we feel like it’s “just part of life,” and at the end of day we’re so confused about how little we got done of the things we wanted to do – and yet we’re so exhausted and drained. Where did the day go?!

    There are easily 100 ten-minute tasks we do in a week from dropping off the mail, filling out paperwork for school, calling the plumber, doing the dishes from breakfast, feeding the pets, sweeping the floor, picking up a birthday cake for our friend, dropping off dry cleaning, picking up multivitamins for the kids, sending out an invite for our sister’s baby shower… I could go on and on.

    100 ten-minute tasks add up to 17 hours. Add in laundry and going to the grocery store, and you’re at a solid 20 hours a week of running errands. No wonder you can’t find balance – you had a part-time job you didn’t even know about!

    All of this extra stuff (that we rarely acknowledge we’re spending time on) keeps us in a constant state of movement and dissatisfaction. My friend Amy Ahlers taught me that the trick to balance is finding the “pause.” Imagine a ballerina – she’s swift and graceful, and the times she is “balancing” she is performing a moment of stillness. So if we can create days that have moments of stillness, we can find balance. But add in this part-time job of stuff we don’t want to do, and there’s no time for stillness.

    If you’re now saying to yourself

    Well, I have to do all those things…


    If I don’t do them, no one else will…


    No one else can do those things. I’m it

    …we have to talk.

    The truth is that solving this problem isn’t as simple as delegation or saying “no.” You have to look at why all of this stuff is defaulting to you. And why you think you have no choice but to do it.

    This pattern is a product of living in a culture that disempowers women. A culture that teaches us (mothers especially) that after our partners and children get to decide how they want to spend their time, that we then fill in all the gaps to make sure everyone is cared for, fed, and happy… while no one is doing the same for us.  

    No thank you, Patriarchy.

    So how do we find balance? By having a deep understanding of how we’ve been brainwashed into putting ourselves last (and the sick reason why people in power want us to do that) and from that understanding, making an intentional choice about what we choose to take on and what we decide to let go of or delegate.

    We’re going to be doing all of this and more at my new FREE online workshop: 

    Lost in the Shuffle of Your Life?
    How to Pull Forward Your Most Alive, Confident, Soulful Self.

    Click here to reserve your spot for free.

    I really want you to experience balance. It might not look like you originally thought, but when I stopped doing all the shit I didn’t want to do (I’m going to tell you exactly how I off-loaded everything at my free workshop – emotionally and strategically), I finally had the space I needed to rest and hear my soul. And this deeper connection with my soul was what birthed this current season of my life that I am loving.  

    I so want this for you, and I can’t wait to dive deeper on March 13th.


    P.S. When you attend the workshop live at 7pm ET, you’ll receive my “Sacred Living” Playlist! 100 songs to add more magic and inspiration to your daily life. All those songs you hear on my Instastories, now in one place for you to download and use in your life. To reserve your spot for free and get your playlist, CLICK HERE

    P.P.S. This message is something I believe women can really rally around. If you have some friends who would be into this, will you forward them this email? It’s so much easier to make changes when the people around us are doing the same thing.  

    Events at the Moon Lodge!

Design: Jane Reaction. Development: Brandi Bernoskie.