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  • 28
    Apr 2016

    A letter to my body

    There’s always a moment when we “wake up” to the state of our body and notice, “oh crap, I look like sh*t.” That instant is filled with so much pain, judgement and sadness. We feel so much regret for all of the cookies we ate or mornings we pressed snooze instead of going to Zumba. If you had just been more careful, you may have avoided this situation. How did you end up here again?

    Then comes the overwhelm. The mental lists of the new way you’re going to eat, all of the workout classes you need to sign up for and the fantasies of how amazing life will be when you’re back to the way you used to be.

    I used to have these moments of despair all the time. And I used to think that the way to avoid it was to pick a diet, stick to it and never gain weight ever again, but I kept finding myself back in this bottomless pit of sadness around my body.

    A lot has changed for me around my relationship with my body over the past few years and having children has forced me to dig even deeper.

    When Annabelle was six months old, after doing a workout class with lots of mirrors and skinny women, I had one of those “oh crap. I look like sh*t” moments. And I knew in an instant that I could go down the rabbit hole or I could tap into what is true about my body. I pulled out my phone, and in the notes section wrote my body a letter:

    Dear Body,

    Thank you for being there for me and my babies over the past 3 years. You have grown two humans, birthed two humans, breastfed two humans, held and snuggled them. You have willingly digested a lot of bread and ice cream. You have reached into the depths of your adrenals to find the energy to parent and build a business on very little sleep. You have played second fiddle to work, children and my soul. And you never complained. I will never ever turn around and be mad at you for looking the way you do as your state has been manifested by deep service to our life.

    I will only say THANK YOU! Thank you thank you for your diligent, unwavering, deep loving care.

    Now that Annabelle is six months and I am sleeping more, I realize that you need love. You need connection, movement, stretching and healthy food. You deserve to feel alive, at ease, strong, nourished and filled up. You are also my baby and I will care for you so. Thank you for waiting so patiently.

    Starting now, you are now one of my priorities. Kids, body, marriage, soul work and work work can take a back seat to make room and I know that my next level will come from me building a new, strong relationship with you.

    Love love love,

    Sarah

    I invite you to see the truth about your body and all she does for you. Write her a letter to tell her you really see her. Like a mother who has never heard “thank you” after years of selflessly raising children, you will feel your body melt in the joy of being appreciated.

    Being a woman with a body is complicated, and we need each other to move through some of these sticky spots. If you know someone who may find this helpful, I hope you’ll send them this article. Why stay on the surface when we can get deep and real with each other?

    In the comments I would love to read your letter to your body if you are willing to share. Know that your example of love will inspire so many women in this community.

    I can’t wait to hear from you,

    Sarah

  • 26
    Apr 2016

    6 (fixable) ways you’re blocking success (in biz, love and body)

    One night when Marshall was about 7 months old, I had two glasses of wine and two bowls of ice cream. Alone.  Not the end of the world, but it was enough for me to check in with myself about how I was feeling about my life.  You see, ten years ago an emotional eating episode would’ve been an entire bottle of wine and a whole pint of ice cream, but any time my eating seems a little off, I use it as an opportunity to see what’s up in my inner world.

    Turns out, I was feeling a little stuck.  So I started thinking about all the ways, big and small, that I was hiding, playing it safe or waiting for “someday” to start something.

    What was interesting is that sure, there were some deeper reasons around self-doubt and self-worth, we all have those negative voices in our head, but oddly, a lot of the things that kept me playing small were fixable outside of my therapist’s office.

    Things like:

    • Needing a babysitter I could depend on so I could plan a spontaneous date.
    • Getting a bikini wax so I felt sexy.
    • Organizing my passwords so I could login to my accounts with ease and feel on top of my money.
    • Changing the design of my website so I felt great sending people there (if you struggle with this I have a solution for you below).
    • Organizing my clothes so I loved getting dressed.
    • Fix up the backyard so my kids got more outdoor time.

    Before I identified all of these fixable things, I just felt like a woman in a flat marriage with a bad relationship with money, no style and a bad mother with crazy kids who didn’t even feel proud of her business!

    The struggle is real, my friend.  But when it came down to it, none of these beliefs about myself were true.  There were just a few actionable things that felt overwhelming to handle.  Even though it looks simple, tackling it felt hard to do.

    Can you see how resistance to getting something done can turn into this huge internal battle?

    So here’s what I want you to do:

    1. Make a list of all the ways you’re holding back, things you’re putting off or areas of your life you wish were different.
    2. Consider for a second that there is nothing wrong with you. And it’s not your parents fault either.
    3. Identify the action that is blocking you from having or doing those things. For example: I can’t start a business because I don’t have money for a website and I don’t know how to code.
    4. Write down the first step you have to do. Example: Open my computer and google “babysitting services San Francisco”. Thank God for Google.
    5. Block out an hour in your calendar to do the above activity.

    Every time I make this list for myself (I do it once a month or so) I am amazed at how simple it is to upgrade my life.  A good babysitter can save a marriage. Just sayin.

    Now, before I let you go, I want to introduce you to something that could change the course of your career.  If you have ever thought about starting your own business or becoming a coach but don’t have the funds, time or tech training to get your own website, you are going to flip out over this.

    A while back, the founder of Mentor & Muse called and asked me if life coaches, spiritual teachers and health coaches have a hard time building websites. Um, Hells yeah.  We spent a long time talking all.the.things a coach needs on her site in order for it drive business for her. She worked with myself and a few other women in the industry to create coaching websites that are highly strategic, affordable, simple and gorgeous.

    Screen Shot 2016-04-25 at 12.34.04 PM

    Here’s what you get with a Mentor & Muse website (you’re going to die):

    • A specialized one-stop shop where coaches can get all the website features they need without cobbling together a bunch of plugins on a one-size-fits-all website builder.
    • Most websites involve a big upfront investment and then additional fees and long turnaround times every time you want to change something. On Mentor & Muse you can add sections, features, plugins and even totally change your design anytime, for free.
    • They have great human customer service that has knowledge of the coaching space.
    • Features include blog, payments, booking, branded PDFs for opt-ins, email and list management, mobile responsiveness, and more. I mean, seriously? This is amazing.

    Here’s one of my favorite site designs:

    RG_Standard_confetti

    There are so many more to choose from, you can see all of there here: https://www.mentormuse.co/

    Here’s the best part, if you reserve your site by May 3rd you get 30% off for a full year by using code LIVEMORE when you sign up on this page (click here).

    If you have always wanted to start a business or feel like your ugly website is holding you back from putting yourself out there, I bet you are freaking out over this. It has everything I could ever want in a website, all together! It’s incredible. I just had to share it with you.

    And if this isn’t something you need but you know someone who does, please send it along, she will be so grateful because the whole website thing can be a huge PITA.

    Wishing you lots of luck in identifying the small blocks to big problems. If you need any support hit me up be;pw. I’m here for you.

    Love,

    Sarah

    P.S. Here’s the link again to get your discount for Mentor & Muse: https://www.mentormuse.co/

  • 21
    Apr 2016

    How to create a morning routine you’ll actually do (and wake up early for)

    I used to pride myself on my morning routine. I would wake up, meditate, workout, journal, shower, pull together a beautiful outfit and make myself a beautiful breakfast.

    This was totally doable for a woman who had no kids, whose husband wasn’t home in the morning and who didn’t have to be at work at a certain time.  Ha! I thought my life was so hard.

    Then I had kids, and every day up until recently I would wake up to Marshall screaming (yes he throws a fit as soon as he wakes up, we’re working on it) between 6 and 7am and go right into his morning routine of changing his diaper, getting his food, saving him from 3-12 near death experiences and trying to maybe eat and get dressed (usually dirty leggings and one of three sweatshirts) amongst the chaos.  Oh yeah, and throw in nursing Annabelle and keeping her from eating last night’s dinner off the floor.  It’s very glamorous. Then I get to work by 9 so I can be done by 5 when our nanny leaves.

    So when I was complaining to Jonathan that I felt like I was always in survival mode, he gave that look.  You know that look, the one that says “I’ve told you this a million times and you never listen to me but I know it’s good for you and I’m going to risk you hating me for mentioning it because I am so convinced it’s going to change your life.” So that, and he said “I really think you should consider getting up before the kids.” To which I replied, “I am just not my best self before 7am.” To which he rebuttled, “You aren’t exactly your best self after 7am either.” Touche.

    So I told him I would experiment with waking up at 6 am every day for five days (Monday-Friday) and see how I felt so I had an hour before the kids woke up, and if they woke up earlier I would leave them in their beds, turn up the white noise machine and know they aren’t going to die.

    One thing I knew, and this is KEY in creating a morning routine, this hour was not about bettering myself, working out or learning a new skill.  This hour was just about packing as much fun, relaxation and pleasure in as I could.  It was about connecting with me, before I had to connect with my children.

    Every morning looks a little different but almost always includes:

    Slippers

    Having quiet time whether it’s meditating or just staring out the window

    Making coffee

    Pulling Tarot cards

    Reading a few pages in my book while drinking coffee

    Taking a shower, getting dressed and putting on a little makeup

    I started this morning routine 5 weeks ago and I have only slept past my 6/6:15 wake up ONCE, and it was such a terrible morning that it really showed me how much I love my new routine.

    Here’s the truth, when our alarm goes off and we are instantly excited about what is about the happen the next hour, it is easy to get out of bed, no matter what time it is. Not to mention that connecting with our feminine, soulful, fun-loving selves makes us far more productive, present and patient during our day whether it’s at work or at home.

    Today I want you to write out your ideal morning routine and decide what time you need to wake up to make that happen, and just experiment with doing it tomorrow and every day next week.  If you hate it after a week, you don’t have to do it. I would love to hear in the comments on what your plan is. And make sure to check out ideas from the other women in this community.

    Also, being a woman isn’t always easy, and we need each other to move through some of these sticky spots.  If you know someone who may find this helpful, I hope you’ll send them this article.  Why stay on the surface when we can get deep and real with each other, you know?

    Love,

    Sarah

Design: Jane Reaction. Development: Brandi Bernoskie.