Happy Samhain, witches!
We all do it… the daily scroll through Instagram and Facebook to look at pictures of everyone’s seemingly perfect lives. We’re jealous. We say things like:
I wish my life looked like that.
I wish I was more beautiful.
I’m just not that crafty.
Sometimes we get angry.
I wish people would post pictures of what their lives are really like.
She’s so fake – I bet she’s secretly miserable.
I used to feel this way. Any time someone posted a picture of themselves traveling, I’d go into a woe-is-me spiral about how I can’t travel because I have kids. Why can’t I go to Bali or Fiji?! I need sunshine, too!
Then I’d say something like, It’s so easy for her – she doesn’t have kids, she has no idea how free and easy her life is. She’s so ungrateful. I hate her. I hope she gets pregnant and her perfect life falls apart and she finally realizes what REAL LIFE is like. Women who aren’t mothers just don’t get it. UNFOLLOW!
Or I’d see a “mommy blogger” who took her children, decked out in organic dresses and vintage bonnets, out to collect pine cones to make a special craft as part of their Waldorf-inspired homeschooling curriculum. If I did that with my kids they would probably just throw the pine cones at each other. It made me wonder if I was failing at being a mother. I’d say something like, It’s so easy for her, she probably has a rich husband and she doesn’t have to work. And she has two girls, girls are sooo much easier than boys. She has no idea what it’s really like to be a mom because her kids are so easy. And probably really neat eaters. My kids would totally ruin those clothes. What a waste of money. NO THANK YOU, MOMMY BLOGGER. UNFOLLOW!
Are you guilty of this, too? Sure, maybe people could be better about showing real life on social media, but I don’t think that’s the problem.
The hard truth is that our lives aren’t matching up with our desires. When we are unhappy and unsatisfied, we are going to look at everyone else’s lives and want more of what they have.
Jealousy is just a sign that we aren’t living in alignment with what we truly desire on a soul level.
But what I’ve discovered is that what I’m jealous of isn’t always a direct indicator of what I want. Often I’ll go through periods when I’m jealous of so many people who have vastly different lives, and that’s because I’m going through a time when I lack clarity about what I want.
Other times I’ll know what I want but I’m not doing anything about it, so when I see someone who has what I want, I feel mad at them, but I’m actually pissed at myself for not prioritizing my dreams.
When I started to understand this pattern, I took it as an invitation to get clear on what I wanted. Turns out I didn’t want to travel to Bali or Fiji. I didn’t want to leave my kids for 2 weeks, and taking them with me sounded like a nightmare. But going to Tulum for 4 nights sounded amazing and was actually affordable and practical. And planning a few trips a year without my children to amazing locations – some with Jonathan, some with my friends – was exactly what I wanted and was totally possible.
As soon as I got clear on what I wanted, my jealousy lessened. As I started booking the trips, it disappeared. Now, if I ever find myself jealous of someone who’s traveling, I grab my journal and ask why I’m not feeling self-expressed with my inner bohemian traveler. Often I gain clarity on a trip that creates so much healing and excitement in my life.
When it came to being jealous of stay-at-home moms, I had to look really hard at how I wanted to mother. The truth was I didn’t want to be home full-time, but I also wasn’t happy with our old arrangement. As soon as I got clear that I wanted to have more 1:1 with each kid and do more baking and exploring the woods with them (circle-of-life project not required), I stopped judging and feeling jealous of other moms.
Here’s my invitation for you: if you’re sick of scrolling through Instagram and seeing everyone else live a life you wish you had, it’s time for you to get to work creating the life that is the fullest expression of your soul.
The first step is clarity.
The second step is recognizing the blocks to feeling empowered and worthy of your dreams.
The third step is developing the plan and strategy to make it happen.
If you want support with this process, this is exactly what we’re going to be doing at my free workshop this Wednesday to kick off Magic Week, Full Moon Magic: Discover Who You Are and Why You’re Here.
During this workshop, you’ll uncover the lies and challenges that have kept you from being the most authentic YOU, and you’ll experience how the Moon, Seasons, and Elements can lead you to your soul and the strategies to BE YOU in your daily life (even if you’re worried about what the people you love will think).
There’s nothing that breaks my heart more than seeing strong, smart, capable women feel like they aren’t living the lives they desire or deserve. I can’t wait to be with you to talk about this important topic. Click here to join us this Wednesday.
P.S. When you sign up for the Full Moon Magic workshop as part of Magic Week, you’ll also get 7 additional lessons with incredible guest teachers that will help you come closer to your soul, hear your truth, and have the courage to walk your path. Click here to sign up for free.
P.P.S. Lately I’ve been recording guest episodes with a ton of amazing women podcast hosts. One episode I’m so excited to share is my interview last week with Madelyn Moon. You can listen here. In our juicy conversation, we talk about women waking up to cultural brainwashing, sex after having kids and living with the cycles of the moon. Click here to listen to our episode.
Simple actions to take your life back, know your worth & feel alive no matter how drained, overwhelmed and far gone you feel.