You Don’t Have To Choose Between Success & Your Soul
When I found out I was pregnant in October, I was really upset. We had just finished settling into our new home, I had 70 women signed up for my first Full Moon Circle that was coming up in 48 hours, and then I was immediately holding my first retreat at Hawthorn Farm for 30 women for 3 days. I was insanely overwhelmed and honestly just had to ignore the fact that I was pregnant to get through the week.
Even though I got fully on board and excited about having our third (we always wanted 3 but wanted to wait another year), my pregnancy still carried the energy of “I’ve done this before, I’m just going to breeze through and do the minimum.”
For my first two pregnancies, I had planned two home births, went to prenatal yoga all the time, regular acupuncture, worked regularly with my shaman/doula, and centered my whole life around being pregnant.
This time I got an OB at our local hospital and barely did anything else. I didn’t think about having a shower. I figured I would get around to hiring a doula eventually but never did. I’m sure some of my behavioral change had something to do with having two young kids, overwhelm at creating a new birth team in a new place, and sadness about not having my close friends around, but the truth is that my attitude of “this pregnancy matters less” played a large role.
As I got further along, the alarms started ringing. My soul started asking for more, and I got quiet and asked what this pregnancy is about, and why I should make space for it. Here’s what I got…
This pregnancy will complete my season of creating human life. When I have this little girl, I will have every member of my little wolf pack. To me it feels like stepping into full motherhood.
In the cycle of motherhood, the baby-making phase feels like spring. Fertility, new life springing from nothing, the growing and blossoming of a new life and reality. What is amazing is that this baby is due the same day we conceived Marshall 5 years ago. And I will be stepping into my summer of motherhood as summer is starting here. Just goes to show you that there’s no way I could have orchestrated a more beautiful time to have this baby. Magic.
The past few weeks, I’ve been more intentional about how I want to tend to and celebrate my last pregnancy. I hired midwives, I’ve been getting regular massages and going to yoga at the Moon Lodge most days, I did an EPIC maternity shoot with Jenny Moloney, and I asked my friends to hold a Blessing Way for me. I’m also in the process of setting up as much support (logistical, emotional, and spiritual) as possible once the baby comes.
Take some time to think today about where you are in any cycles of your life. Maybe you’re starting, nurturing, or ending a cycle with motherhood, work, home, or a relationship. How can you honor where you are more? Get quiet and ask what you need to be ushered through this great cycle of life.
Simple actions to take your life back, know your worth & feel alive no matter how drained, overwhelmed and far gone you feel.