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What To Do When Your Man Insinuates You Could Lose A Few

Blog · Emotional Eating · Live More Weigh Less · Most Popular · Your Body · Your Relationships · Your Self


Picture this: We’re on our way back from Mexico. I had just gotten Marshall to sleep after an hour of singing, bottles, peek-a-boo and a blow out.  I felt like I just won the lottery.  I took some time to write out my ideal schedule for the next few weeks.  Jonathan peeks over my shoulder and asks me to share.

“Well, on Monday, I’m going to go to pre-natal yoga, then work for the rest of the day, Tuesday is my day of meetings and calls, Wednesday I’m going to go to dance and then work at a cafe the rest of the day, Thursday morning I’ll have some down time… etc etc.”

Then he says, “Ok, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way…”

Okaaay…

“But do you think you should maybe go to yoga five days a week, since you know, you haven’t been going that much?”

OH NO YOU DIDN’T.

“I MEAN, you were just a lot stronger during your first pregnancy, and I want this pregnancy to be easy for you.”

No sh*t Sherlock, probably because when I got pregnant the first time I didn’t just have a baby like 10 minutes earlier. (If you’re new here, I’m pregnant, which happened when my first son was 9 months old).

I was livid. And hurt. And felt like I weighed a million pounds.

I just stared at him, told him I didn’t want to talk about it and locked myself in the airplane bathroom and cried.

Here’s the deal.  Jonathan didn’t call me fat, to him mentioning going to yoga is like asking if I was going to get a massage this week, but given my history with feeling terrible about myself and equating being told to workout with needing to look a certain way, it felt so different than he intended.

And, this wasn’t the first time we’ve had a version of this conversation, though it had been a while, maybe years, but it still kills me every time.

Has this ever happened to you?  And maybe it wasn’t your husband, but a friend, your mother or your doctor.  If it has, you know the pain, the embarrassment and the intense anger.  I was in that bathroom for a while, deciding how to deal with this situation because I was clear I never wanted to feel this way again.


Here’s how I handled it and what you can do next time you find yourself in this situation…

 

ONE: FEEL ALL THE EMOTIONS. I felt shame, embarrassment and anger.  I was reminded of all the times anyone had ever commented on my weight, like they were all on the plane telling me how fat I was.  I was second guessing wearing my bikini all week, questioning my choices to not work out 5 days a week. I got small, and sad.

TWO: GET STRONG. After I went to the place of feeling like a helpless, worthless ten year old girl, I tapped into my strong inner woman.  I got back into my seat, sat up straight and looked directly at Jonathan.  I talked for a long time and don’t remember everything I said but the energy was, “I am awesome, I am doing the best I can, and my body is my business. Period.”  I told him he was never allowed to make a comment about my body (unless it’s about how gorgeous I am), my weight, working out or food, ever, for as long as we live.  It is my domain, not his.  This conversation is off the table.  I told him how much he hurt me, how angry I was and how he made me feel.  Yes, all on the plane, crying, and speaking pretty loudly.  I wanted him to really get that this was unacceptable.

THREE: UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY MEANT. Now, this is not about excusing their behavior and making it ok.  I believe that people should never meddle in your health, ever, unless you are at serious risk of hurting yourself or others, but I think you get that’s not what I’m talking about here.  However, understanding what they meant will help you feel better.  The reality was that Jonathan was not saying I was fat, nor was he telling me he wanted a trophy wife or that I was lazy (even though that’s how I interpreted it).  He was actually just wanting me to feel strong, so I can be comfortable during my pregnancy.  Does this excuse the comment? Nope. But it allows me to come back to reality.  The truth is that our partners need to be sensitive about how certain things make us feel, not just what they meant.  Just because they wouldn’t feel hurt if we said that to them, doesn’t mean they have permission to say what they want to us.

FOUR: BE CLEAR ABOUT BOUNDARIES  Tell whoever it is in a strong confident voice, “My body is my business. period. You are never welcome to mention anything about this ever again, am I clear? If you do, we’re going to have to reevaluate our relationship.” Or something like that.

It’s never easy to feel attacked or shamed by a loved one, even when they didn’t mean any harm, and 99% of the time they don’t.  It’s ok to be sensitive, this is just how you are and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.  We all have a history that makes us emotional around conversations like these, and we can all do work to be stronger and more self-accepting, but that doesn’t mean we can’t set some healthy boundaries with our partners.

In the comments below I want to know, have you experience this before? And how you would handle a situation like this?

And if you know someone who has struggled with this in the past, I hope you will share it with them by sending an email or using the social media buttons below.

Can’t wait to talk with you below about this sensitive topic.

Love,

Sarah


34 Comments

  • Linda says:

    Hi Sarah, thank you so much for your article it gave me a lot to think about. I’m 58 years old, 5’ 9”, and 155 pounds. I look good in clothes, but because of a new job I haven’t had opportunities to exercise very much in the past nine months.
    I’ve been dating someone new for the past month. He told me in a conversation that his friends used to fix him up with fat women. So I asked him do you think I’m fat? I was expecting a yes or no answer. What I got was “you could stand to lose a few pounds”.
    I feel like that is a horrible thing to say to someone you’ve only known a few weeks.
    I keep thinking maybe this is the reason he hasn’t had a girlfriend in seven years. He is 63 and nothing to look at, he just has a really fun personality. He has varicose veins, scars from knee surgery, way too much back hair. But when I like someone, I don’t see those things.
    Is this guy a jerk or something else I don’t know help?

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Linda, thanks so much for your comment. If you feel it’s a horrible thing to say, find a way to clearly communicate that to him. It’s up to you to set the tone of how you would like to be treated and you deserve to be treated with respect and love. Sending love, Sarah

      • Moriah says:

        Hi Sarah,
        I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month. I’m 22, 6’1 foot and about 165 lbs. I definitely have some belly fat but not really anything too crazy. This guy has subtly mentioned something about my body weight before and I told him all comments or “suggestions” about my body are off the table. He apologized and said he understood. Well fast forward to tonight. He knows I love to read and said “I have this book you’d really be interested in but I don’t want you to get mad.” It ended up being a book about going a juice cleanse for 10 days. He said “you can go on this cleanse for 10 days and it says you’ll lose 10 pounds!” I’m pretty disappointed considering I told him all body comments were off the table.. but I don’t get why this guy keeps saying he likes me but then makes these stupid comments.. help?

        • sarahjenks says:

          Hi Moriah, thank you for your comment and for sharing. I so understand your frustration. Often times, we need to set boundaries again and again and again. Even the most evolved souls will still make these type of comments and it’s our work (should we choose to accept it) to keep asserting our values and boundaries. If he is the right one for you, he will understand and modify his comments. Love, Sarah

  • Ashley says:

    Hello, Sarah.
    I recently had a similar conversation with my spouse of one year. When we had started dating, I had been working out heavily, sauna-ing, and severely cutting back on calorie intake. Lots and lots of calories lost, and I looked great.
    Fast forward to him saying the sauna was a waste of money, so I casually agreed that it was and decided to stop. I was barely making use of it by that time anyway.
    I then began college, and the Corona ordeal happened. So needless to say, my efforts of remaining fit in the frozen tundra of South Dakota paired with no gym time and no free time led to weight gain.
    Over the weekend he decided to comment on it, and I was livid.
    To be clear, he was the one who encouraged me to eat more. Who encouraged me that it’s ok for me to eat things I hadn’t been because I was scared of the calories. So naturally, weight gain happened.
    Now that it’s here, he wants to have an opinion on it?
    I was outraged because he had encouraged me that it was ok to let loose a bit. I was upset because it triggered a trauma response from previous issues in other relationships. I am still angry at him for it nearly four days later.
    Eating in front of him now makes me uncomfortable and I often find myself feeling insecure when he walks into a room and I’m not up and moving.
    He came off harsh. He made no effort to be kind in the way he presented it to me. Now he tries to back pedal and call me beautiful and feed me food I wouldn’t eat on a diet.
    I don’t know how to take his fluctuation in attitude.
    However, I do know I’m not handling the situation well mentally. Which is how I made my way to this forum. Any advice to offer?

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Ashley, thank you so much for your comment and question. I can understand how you’re feeling. Have you let your partner know that discussing your weight is simply off limits? When there can be a mutual understanding of your boundaries, it will make it much easier to feel better emotionally. And you deserve to feel amazing! Love, Sarah

  • Amy says:

    Your article hit me like a brick!
    My boyfriend and I were talking and he mentioned how I tend to eat sweets at night. How he can not buy ice cream anymore because “someone” has a problem and how he can go three days w/o eating the ice cream. Then he said this is why you’re gaining weight. You’re eating all those calories after dinner then just sitting there.

    I stood there. Blank stare. I didn’t say anything. I just turned around and walked away. I felt like a round butterball. And when I read you saying that it felt like everyone was on the plane w/you telling you about your body. That’s exactly what happened. My mom telling me no more cookies or chips. My aunt looking me up and down telling me I’ve gained weight. My grandmother calling me healthy… AKA chubby! My high school boyfriend telling me I was fat.

    So I still sit here. Still I say nothing. Idk what I’m supposed to do. I’m sick of telling people to leave me alone. Plus I’m 5’ 2” and weight 140… I may not be a model but I’m not huge. Although that’s how I feel rt now! BIG ROUND AND GROSS!

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Amy, thanks for reading and for your comment. I completely understand your frustration. When you are telling people to “leave you alone” are you specifically asking them to not comment on your weight/size? If you explain your boundary, it will make it easier to maintain these relationships with a mutual level of respect. Also know that sometimes this work of maintaining boundaries is on-going, and that is ok as you are worthy of love at any size. Love, Sarah

  • Nikki says:

    Wow this whole website/blog is what I have been NEEDING for so so long! This article in particular, I have been with my fiance for 4 years and when I met him I was a size 2. (I’m 5ft) I had previous weight “issues” my whole life and in a very unhealthy, restrictive plus doing drugs kind of way, I went from a size 12 to that size 2 and I felt “normal” we went through addiction, homelessness and recovery together. Now we’ve been sober for over a year and have our whole life together (house, good job etc) BUT I’ve gained weight. (I’m a size 10) and already feeling self conscious, especially because my fiance sometimes makes comments about other “heavier” women…and these women are usually around the same weight as I am. So I asked him The Question.” So do you think I’m fat?” While zooming in on every single body language reaction from him, he replied “well, we all know that your a little overweight.” I felt what little confidence I had leave…and now, any time there is a little distance or lack of attention to me in any way, I feel like its because “I’m overweight.” Ex: “we don’t have sex a lot anymore because he doesnt want to have sex with a “fat” person”. I’m self conscious about eating in front of him now as well.. So anyways! I’m sorry for writing a book here. Your article here, (your whole blog actually) just really hits home for me. Thank you for writing these things! 💖💖

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Nikki, thanks for your comment and share. I’m so glad the blog resonates! You are worthy at any size – be sure to establish firm boundaries around what is ok and not ok. Love, Sarah

  • Jane says:

    Hi Sarah,

    Thank you so much for this article. I have had issues with my current boyfriend of over a year about body image. His physical taste in women seem to be the complete opposite of what I actually am, and I am having a hard time trying to navigate a way to talk to him about the life-long struggle I’ve had with weightloss. He is attracted to very fit, weight-lifting type physiques. He even often shows me pictures of fitness models on instagram, which makes me feel like he is secretly trying to tell me I should look like them. He tells me I am beautiful and compliments me a lot, however he sometimes gets wandering eyes when we are out in public together, and occasionally comments on women’s photographs on Instagram complimenting their looks. Should I be worried about this?

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Jane, thanks for reading and for sharing your heart. I would recommend having an honest and open conversation with your partner to let him know your concerns. Be sure to share your boundaries and stay open to talking through this. Love, Sarah

  • Lex says:

    Hi Sarah, thank you for posting this. I really needed it. I have been with my boyfriend for six months and I have come to realize that I have never felt so fat and unattractive in a relationship. My boyfriend constantly refers to my weight in a negative way, and then says that he is worried about my health. But its the way he says it, and the way I feel. He will look at me and my plate while I am eating. He observes other overweight women, and at one point, he pointed at one and said “if you ever get that big, I am leaving you.” All of this is So hurtful, because I went through a deep depression last year and gained 30 pounds. In one year. I am not used to this weight that I have put on. I already feel horrible, but he makes me feel worse. I believe that he is not attracted to me.
    He is a very good man, a great catch. He does a lot for me. But should I be with a “great man” even though I feel unattractive and insecure around him?

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Lex, thanks for sharing your heart. I’m so sorry you’re hurt. You deserve to feel unconditional love from your partner. Only you have the answer as to whether you should be with him. I’m sending you support! Love, Sarah

  • Lindsay says:

    Hi Sarah,

    Thank you for this article. I’m 5.6, about 170 pounds and 28 years old. Last night, my boyfriend told me that he is not as attracted to me as he used to be because of the weight I’ve put on. He has never mentioned anything before and we have been together for 3 years. That hit me like a ton of bricks.

    We got into an argument about it because I felt that’s not appropriate to say, but he claimed he just wanted to be honest. Fair enough. He said the issue is that I’ve gained weight because I eat a lot of sugar, snacks, and junk food (this is true, it’s my coping mechanism for stress). He claims that if I gained weight because of pregnancy, disease, etc. that he wouldn’t feel this way.

    I’m so stuck on how to feel. I’m obviously upset, but I don’t know whether what he said is something I should be angry about or not. I also don’t know what I should do. I know my eating habits are an issue, but I feel like I shouldn’t make a change just because he said something, I should make a change when I feel ready.

    Sincerely,
    Lindsay

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Lindsay, thanks for your comment. I believe you are right – you shouldn’t make a change based on his comments, make a change for yourself (if, and only if, you wish). You deserve unconditional love, regardless. Love, Sarah

  • Anita says:

    I needed this article today, I had a really hard pregnancy with my last baby, I had to have an a emergency c-section, I’m 40 years old and recovery has been hard. I am still feeling pain and have nerve damage and it prevents me from working out as much as I would like, sometimes my pelvic area just burns. I didn’t put on any weight while I was pregnant but afterwards is a different story, I couldn’t move around much and so I got depressed and then didn’t want to move around even more. My hormones are finally on track and I’ve been slowly trying to make changes, I’ve joined weight watchers and been trying to walk when I can. My husband has been less than supportive, he wants me to be able to run 10 miles right now and drop weight, last night he asked me if I was still doing weight watchers, I told him yes but I haven’t been doing so well because we don’t have access to a lot of healthy fresh foods right now, he hasn’t been working a lot and we are on a tight budget. He looked at me and said well then starve, it won’t kill you. I feel pretty crappy about it.

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Anita, thanks for your comment and for sharing your heart. Your husband telling you to starve is unacceptable – it’s no wonder you’re not feeling good. I encourage you to establish crystal clear boundaries and let him know it is off limits to discuss your body. I’m sending support! Love, Sarah

  • Tammy N says:

    Hi Sarah,

    Thank you so much for sharing. I googled “When your husband makes rude comments about your weight” or something like that….and your post came up. My best friend posted a picture of her and I about 6 years ago on my Facebook page. My husband said to me “Yeah, that’s what you looked like when I met you.” We’ve been together for 5 years and married for 2. I responded to him “What do you mean?” He was like well your figure is so much different now, don’t you think?” I have probably gained about 15-20lbs since we met, and I know I could be in better shape but man those comments broke my spirit and my heart! At first I was like.. I’m going to have to get to losing weight immediately and then I thought to myself…. If you lose weight it has to be because it’s to make you happier and healthier and not because of those words he said. I need to have a conversation with him but it seems every time I mention his harshness somehow it gets turned around that I’m too sensitive. He loves me I know that, but he was really raised in a non loving and non compassionate environment so he never thinks how his words could affect another. Anyways, thank you again for your post, I need to have a conversation, I’m just trying to figure out how to communicate how I feel without getting too emotional and not then not being able to discuss truly how I feel.

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Tammy, thanks for your comment and for reading the blog. I’m glad you found it! Having these conversations can be tough but are essential. You deserve love no matter your size. If you’re looking for help with this conversation, my membership, Whole Woman, is an amazing place for additional resources. Love, Sarah

  • Dom says:

    My partner said he was worried about my weight and said he goes back and forth about if he accepts it or not. We’ve been together for 5 years. It really hurt my feelings. Then he made the comment that he was looking at me and I got bigger and he was wondering if I was going through something. I gained 2 lbs. not to mention when we met I was about 8lbs heavier. I don’t even know what to feel. I feel he’s being superficial bc he’s a body builder. And “I’m the biggest woman he’s ever dated”. I’m not fat just thick, small waste. What do you think about this Sarah?

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Dom, thanks for your comment and for being here. I can understand why you’re hurt. I encourage you to establish very clear boundaries in which speaking about your body is off limits. You are lovable no matter what the scale says. Love, Sarah

  • Hayley says:

    Hi Sarah,

    I was wondering if you might be able to give me some advice? My partner rubbed my tummy the other day and said, ‘hello there little baby’. I naturally got upset and asked what he meant by that and he couldn’t give me an answer. So now I am feeling fat and have immediately gone on a diet. The problem is that I logically know I’m not fat (170cm, 58kg, BMI 20.1), but I can’t understand why he said it or now can’t give me a reason why he said it.

    I workout 5 days a week and am very active, but I have put on 4kg in the last 6 months, although this was intentional as I was underweight. But I am wondering if he wants me to lose weight and I am just confused if I am too big. My partner is actually quite overweight, his BMI is 42. So I don’t understand and just feel hurt. And what’s worse is that he is mad at me. I don’t get any of it. Can you give me your opinion? Thanks so much!

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Hayley, thanks for your comment. I’m so sorry this happened. You can choose to let it go, or you can insist he explains his comment. Know that by pushing him to explain, you may be further hurt but this could also help in healing. I would encourage you to establish boundaries and let him know it is off limits to discuss your body. I’m sending support! Love, Sarah

  • Annbell says:

    Hi Sarah,
    My boyfriend I have been together almost two years and we are in our 30s. We have a really healthy and great relationship. We started as friends and have built quite an awesome connection together. I have always been complimented and praised by him. I have never felt more loved and beautiful in a relationship before. However, recently he said something completely out of character. I was sitting on the edge of the bed in a small tank top and says, ” Your belly is hanging out. Maybe you should stop eating ice cream.” It was very hurtful. I immediately said, “That is completely rude. Don’t get used to speaking to me like that. I won’t tolerate it. I look great.” So I felt I set that boundary with him. He instantly apologized. But I noticed throughout the rest of the weekend, he kept mentioning how much I’ve been indulging in food and is worried that I’m going to gain a bunch of weight. He said that it’s a taboo subject and is hard to talk about. I was like, “Well one day, I will gain weight. Either because I’m pregnant or ill or what not.” And he said, ” Of course and I’ll still love you and think you’re beautiful, but people let themselves go all the time after they’ve been together for awhile.” I just ended up arguing with him about it.
    I would just like to add that it’s during the pandemic right now and I am out of shape, but trust me…I look just fine. I’m worried that he won’t always love me for me. I’m also a sexual person and worried that my insecurity about this now will affect our relationship in that way. I’m just in complete shock that this man that loves me so much and has found me so attractive said this to me. I’m not sure where to go from here…

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Annabel, thanks for your comment and for being here. I’m sorry you’re feeling hurt and encourage you to continue having those sometimes tough conversations in regards to your boundaries. Be crystal clear that it is simply off limits to discuss your weight and body. With continued conversation, he may begin to understand. You deserve respect and unconditional love no matter what. Love, Sarah

  • Asiah says:

    Hey Sarah,
    Loved your response to your partner. I hope HE re-evaluated himself.
    My boyfriend and I are about a year and a half now. About 2 months ago he started commenting on my diet/things I was eating.
    I’m not afraid to tell him how I feel and have told him about 3 times already. However, we haven’t moved past it.

    I am 5’8 and 215 Ibs and 23 years old. When we started dating I was 180! Since then I’ve had foot surgery, chronic migraines, and back issues so severe I could barely put on my pants and walk regularly.

    I’ve played basketball and have had a steady workout routine since I was 8 years old. I have had multiple ankle injuries so had to slow down more during college.

    Although the past year and half I still exercised when I was able and Have been doing yoga since March, I’m still overweight.

    I’ve mentioned my frustrations and saddens with my changing body, injuries. And fitness journey to my BF.

    But he just tries to “encourage” me to be healthier because he knows I’m not happy with my weight. However, I told him that the recovery and resting has made me much happier and has made me feel better.

    There’s lots more details though. Let me know if you’d like to hear those too!

    I don’t know what to do. Lately he has been making low key and negative comments about anything that I eat that is unhealthy. Even bacon! And eating a full breakfast. He tells me I should just have smoothies or a replacement shake and one meal later on instead of having 3 meals a day. Btw I love my veggies and eat them a lot!

    Although I’m not happy with my figure and what to be better, that doesn’t mean I hate the way I look. I’m darn proud of myself and thankful for my health. I’d really appreciate any insight.

    Thank you!

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Asiah, thanks for your comment and for being here! I completely understand. I would encourage you to have a very clear conversation with your partner and let him know it is simply off limits to discuss your weight, body, or food choices. Know you may need to have this conversation many times but change happens when you stick to your boundaries. Sending love, Sarah

  • Macy says:

    Hi Sarah,
    I couldn’t have come across your blog at a better time. I am currently 21, 5’7 and about 180-190 pounds. There is definitely work that could be done and time that could be spent in the gym. There are definitely things I could be doing better to live a healthier lifestyle (not drink daily soda, etc). However, recently my boyfriend and I decided to try a workout challenge (75 hard by David Goggins) It was really hard and definitely out of my element. He is very comfortable in the gym and overall being fit. These things however traumatize me for what ever reason. During the process was extremely hard because I was fighting inner demons with insecurities and his libido was WAY down… like non-exsistant, which didn’t help the insecurities. However, I still did it will him and we finished. This was a HUGE feat for me. Sure, i didn’t work out as hard as him or lift as heavy as weights but I finished it. Naturally his results were much better. We go to the gym together now occasionally but not as frequent as he likes. I expressed to him that all he would need to do is ask if I would want to go when he goes and I would be more than happy to tag along. He than expressed that its not the same because he wants me to have drive to go for myself and drive to go even when we don’t go together. That’s when a light went off in my head. I asked him “is this really about us spending time together and working out together or is this you telling me that I need to workout more and lose weight?” To which he rolled his eyes and proceeded to act like I was exaggerating and putting words in his mouth. Eventually he says “I feel like I cant talk to you about things without you getting up set so I just don’t talk to you about things.” I felt horrible to I asked him to please open up. Turns out what he wanted to talk about was that “his libido has never been so low and he has never had a problem with this before in his life and maybe it wouldn’t be a problem if I lost weight.” It absolutely wrecked me. Like I said, I know that their are changes in my lifestyle and eating that definitely can and should be changed. However, the way this was said and that it is even a thought in his head makes me feel very insecure and violated and I have no clue what to do ….

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Macy, thanks for your comment. I’m so very sorry to hear this. You are not responsible for his libido problems. I encourage you to be crystal clear and let him know talking about your body is now off limits and you are seeking unconditional love. Stay open and remember you deserve to be loved no matter what your appearance or drive is. Love, Sarah

  • Lauren says:

    Thank you for this insightful blog regarding your experience. The reason I found your blog is because of my recent experience. I used to be fit and taut until 2 miscarriages including one that caused mass internal bleeding and almost took me out. So, this past year I haven’t been myself and gained a little weight but nothing extreme. Well a few weeks ago I started working out again. I’m busy during the day and don’t always get the calories I need during the day. So tonight, I decided to have a bell pepper filled with veggies and mustard for late night snack. My husband and I had a great night but he grew cold and distant. I bothered him greatly til he told me what was wrong. “ You mention your body goals but yet you eat at night. It bothers me that you eat at night like you do”. He didn’t want to tell me because he doesn’t like me getting upset wi th him. Although my upset is very acceptable and not over emotional. Well, I had to keep my cool to not bother him further. I simply said I’m happy with my workouts and I’m ok eating veggies at night if I’m really hungry. He mention I do it to comfort eat. He could be right, but I just think my body needs more nutrients. I feel so saddened by these comments. My heart aches and I feel small, like you mentioned. We used to eat late together here and there without pause and only happiness ensued after eating at night. Also, he has asked for late night snacks or had something and I don’t bat a eye. I just want the same thing from him as I give to him. My body is beautiful and birthed two children. I have fought battles. I felt lovely today up until now. Just wondering if I should address this further with him? Thank you

    • sarahjenks says:

      Hi Lauren, thanks for your comment and for being here. I am so sorry to hear your heart is aching. I definitely encourage you to continue the conversation with your partner and establish firm, clear and loving boundaries around your body and food choices. I’m sending support. Love, Sarah

  • J.D.W. says:

    Hi Sarah,
    Thank you for this post. It helped me greatly. I had a similar issue yesterday. Long story short as we were leaving the pool he told me he didn’t want to be rude but I needed to go on a diet. Not only that it affected his sexual attractiveness to me.
    Also he preceded to whine about his student loans and lot of other financial things but kinda spiraled quick. After locking myself in the whole
    Foods bathroom for an hour I finally had the heart to forgive even though he did mean it bc he was being “honest”🤷🏼‍♀️ Thank you for this story, it hit home.

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