A sacred brag on how great my marriage is right now
I was choosing pictures to put on the mantel in my new home and I came across a photo from my wedding in June 2011. I looked young, beautiful and really thin. A rush of thoughts poured into my head…
Will I ever look like that again?
Does Jonathan compare my body now to how I used to look?
Will other people judge me for gaining weight since my wedding?
I’ve been in a deep inquiry about my body, women’s bodies, what is ideal, what is beautiful and what is healthy over the past few months. Since having Marshall I have found myself in a very different body. There have been times I have judged myself but mostly I have felt in love, connected with and very at home. I have welcomed and relished in my more fleshy, curvey, soft, supple self.
When I think back to my wedding day, I was in a place of being in constant fear I was going to gain weight. Although I didn’t diet or starve myself to lose weight, I was still very attached to being thin and believed that my weight should be fixed and that gaining weight meant I was less beautiful and less healthy. It was a perfect example of how I looked great on the outside but on the inside I felt trapped and rigid.
So I picked up this picture of myself at my wedding day, and I vowed to never feel the pain of looking different than I did on that day ever again. Because, my life isn’t about the size of my waist, but how free I feel in my body.
The freedom I feel now is from knowing that I am at my ideal shape and size for my current life phase, constitution and season. I don’t need to look how I did when I was 25 to feel beautiful. I know that I will gain and lose weight my whole life, and it’s normal and natural and means nothing about who I am or my worth. I am deeply committed to taking impeccable care of myself. There are always periods when this feels impossible, but I forgive myself and come back to what I know I need – movement, good food, space, love and acceptance.
In two weeks I’m launching the new SarahJenks.com and you may notice a slightly different spin on things. My goal is not to help you lose weight, but to help you feel free. I want to teach you how to take amazing care of your body and soul so you can create your ideal body for your current life phase, constitution and season. I want you to experience what it’s like to be in a body that may be curvier or softer but feels luscious and gorgeous.
Life can’t consumed by a constant drive to produce an “After” photo, 20 pounds lighter than you were a year ago. Life is about knowing that you already are your “After” photo – beautiful, grounded, feminine, free.
Here’s my Before and After.
Photo Credits: Before: Eric Laurits, After: Danielle Fletcher.
In the comments below I want to know where you are in your body journey right now. Are you striving to be at your lowest weight? Are you up for seeing what it would be like to let that go in service of taking better care of yourself? When you stop and think, do you actually love your body now? In what ways are you the most beautiful, grounded, feminine and free you’ve ever been?
I can’t wait to hear from you.
P.S. One of the ways I take care of myself is by working with Laura Hames Franklin, an incredible body intuitive, coach and healer. On Wednesday, December 10th Laura is hosting Wholly Shift Live in San Francisco. I will be there as a participant, and I know she has a few spots left if you want to join me. Click here to buy tickets.
Simple actions to take your life back, know your worth & feel alive no matter how drained, overwhelmed and far gone you feel.