There’s always a moment when we “wake up” to the state of our body and notice, “oh crap, I look like sh*t.” That instant is filled with so much pain, judgement and sadness. We feel so much regret for all of the cookies we ate or mornings we pressed snooze instead of going to Zumba. If you had just been more careful, you may have avoided this situation. How did you end up here again?
Then comes the overwhelm. The mental lists of the new way you’re going to eat, all of the workout classes you need to sign up for and the fantasies of how amazing life will be when you’re back to the way you used to be.
I used to have these moments of despair all the time. And I used to think that the way to avoid it was to pick a diet, stick to it and never gain weight ever again, but I kept finding myself back in this bottomless pit of sadness around my body.
A lot has changed for me around my relationship with my body over the past few years and having children has forced me to dig even deeper.
When Annabelle was six months old, after doing a workout class with lots of mirrors and skinny women, I had one of those “oh crap. I look like sh*t” moments. And I knew in an instant that I could go down the rabbit hole or I could tap into what is true about my body. I pulled out my phone, and in the notes section wrote my body a letter:
Thank you for being there for me and my babies over the past 3 years. You have grown two humans, birthed two humans, breastfed two humans, held and snuggled them. You have willingly digested a lot of bread and ice cream. You have reached into the depths of your adrenals to find the energy to parent and build a business on very little sleep. You have played second fiddle to work, children and my soul. And you never complained. I will never ever turn around and be mad at you for looking the way you do as your state has been manifested by deep service to our life.
I will only say THANK YOU! Thank you thank you for your diligent, unwavering, deep loving care.
Now that Annabelle is six months and I am sleeping more, I realize that you need love. You need connection, movement, stretching and healthy food. You deserve to feel alive, at ease, strong, nourished and filled up. You are also my baby and I will care for you so. Thank you for waiting so patiently.
Starting now, you are now one of my priorities. Kids, body, marriage, soul work and work work can take a back seat to make room and I know that my next level will come from me building a new, strong relationship with you.
Love love love,
I invite you to see the truth about your body and all she does for you. Write her a letter to tell her you really see her. Like a mother who has never heard “thank you” after years of selflessly raising children, you will feel your body melt in the joy of being appreciated.
Being a woman with a body is complicated, and we need each other to move through some of these sticky spots. If you know someone who may find this helpful, I hope you’ll send them this article. Why stay on the surface when we can get deep and real with each other?
In the comments I would love to read your letter to your body if you are willing to share. Know that your example of love will inspire so many women in this community.
I can’t wait to hear from you,