Blog · Your Self

Volume VIII (from Kelly)

Lady of Justice,

I’m on a plane home from a four-day trip in Paris with my eight-year-old daughter, my best friend, and her eight-year-old daughter. We came for the Taylor Swift concert and spent Mother’s Day weekend in one of the most beautiful cities on the planet. It was a dream come true, and I will remember it for lifetimes.

I’ve known for some time that I was meant to write something while I was on this trip. The word “unworthy” dropped in and started circling a few days before we left, and I began to feel the threads of something honest coming through, something I was ashamed of. I thought I would be writing about how I lied to almost everyone I told about this experience that someone gave me the tickets for free – because I was ashamed of the fact that I could afford this trip on my own and that I was in full choice around spending my money on something so extravagant. I was dreading writing out the truth and facing the ways that I judged myself for feeling this way. I was ready to go into it, but then the writing never actually came.

Just now, on the plane ride home, I felt the pen and paper calling to me (finally). And when I closed my eyes I was surprised to find you there. The Lady of Justice. Holding the scales.

So here we are. 

I suppose it is you who is meant to talk to me about worthiness. Cue the stomach pangs.

Lady of Justice,

Will you talk to me about how to hold gratitude for everything that I am experiencing in this lifetime while not bypassing the pain, the terror, the violence, the hardship, the strain that so many are experiencing at this exact moment in time?

Fuck, is that really the question? I guess it is. 


What is happening for you happens for many.

As you sink deeper into your gratitude practices and into the abundance of the present moment… and you bathe in fancy Parisian tubs and in the deliciousness that your life is offering you right now… and as you sink all the way into the joy and juiciness of what is here for you, even deeper…

The pang comes in.

It is too much.

Why you?

It is not fair.

And then you freeze. Forget the pang. And move on.

I’m not coming in to tell you to ignore the pang.

I’m actually here to help you lean all the way into it.

This is not going to be comfortable. Prepare yourself.

But before we go in, I want to clear one thing up.

Justice and worthiness are not to be interchanged. 

You are worthy.

They are worthy.

All are worthy.

Worthiness is innate and inherent and a birthright for all living things alike.

Unworthiness, or the concept that anyone or anything is more worthy than another, is a critical thread in the lies woven by our patriarchal conditioning. 

You do not play their game anymore. 

You are worthy. 

They are worthy.

All are worthy.

My work is justice. Which at its’ core is about the truth of inherent worthiness being fully realized.

At the surface, some will see justice as making what is wrong, right again.

And that is true.

But what is also true, is that at the foundation of justice is the indisputable fact that all are worthy.

There is no hierarchy in the truth of justice.

Hierarchy is the tool of the oppressor. 

You no longer wield that weapon.

Now that we are clear…

That you are worthy.

That they are worthy.

That all are worthy.

It is time for the uncomfortable part.

People are being violently killed and tortured and removed from their ancestral lands.

While you are in Paris at a Taylor Swift concert with your eight-year-old daughter, singing at the top of your lungs,

There are mothers shielding the bodies of their eight-year-old daughters as they cry out for protection at the top of their lungs, begging for their lives to be spared.

Don’t freeze. 

Don’t numb out.

While you are in a comfortable window seat flying across the Atlantic,

Mothers are huddled in corners hiding, sending up prayers in the night that they might be able to find a way out.

Don’t freeze.

Don’t numb out.

While you are

In joy

In expression

In creativity

In choice

In safety

And in freedom

Millions of women across this planet are

In pain

In silence

In servitude

In fear

In danger

And totally restrained.

Don’t freeze.

Don’t numb out.

Can you feel the truth of what is happening without numbing yourself from it?

Can you feel the truth of what is happening without plunging yourself into a guilt spiral that serves no one except your ego?

Can you feel the truth of what is happening without falling into the paradox of comparative suffering?

Can you feel the truth of what is happening without getting tricked into the conclusion that you are unworthy of all that you have?

Remember, if

You are unworthy

Then so are they

And so is everyone.

You no longer wield that weapon.

Can you feel the truth of what is happening without believing the lie that there is nothing that you could be doing about it so you might as well continue on in your own life?

Can you feel the truth of what is happening and the power and responsibility that lie in

Your joy

Your expression

Your creativity

Your choices

Your safety

And your freedom?

Don’t freeze.

Don’t numb out.

There is this pendulum of feeling the pain of all of humanity on which many waking women swing.

Some, like you, are master manifesters – creating more joy and magic and expansion and abundance in your own energetic field than you ever thought possible. Not just for you, but for those in your orbit, who will bask in the light that you are weaving in your corner of the world.

Others, and I love these light beings so much, have the gift (and the sacred burden) of feeling for the collective and holding the truth of the human experience at any particular moment… ALL THE WAY.

Now, they feel those mothers shielding the bodies of their eight-year-old daughters all day, every day. They see them in their dreams. They wake to the sound of their screams. They walk each day nearly debilitated with empathy and compassion so strong, and they channel it into action wherever and however they can,

And sometimes, I have to lovingly remind them that their gift of feeling the world does not mean that they alone are responsible for serving justice.

I am here. With them.

And the uncomfortable truth – the one that they hold actively while you freeze, is that at this time, the scales are out of balance.

There is work to do.

And they cannot do it alone.

Kelly, you asked. So I am answering. 

Keep weaving the light. It matters.

But do not freeze.

Do not numb out.

They need you. 

They need all of you. 

The ones with the voices who are free to speak.

The ones with power within so much greater than the power over wielded by the governments in the lands which they reside.

The ones who can choose to create and express safely.

The ones who can use their freedom

To free others.

We have work to do. 

And it never had anything to do with worthiness.

What will you do now, weaver?

In solidarity,

The Lady of Justice (via Kelly)

P.S. Well, fuck. I refuse to fall into a self-serving, useless guilt spiral around what I have or haven’t said or done until this point because that changes nothing and serves no one other than my ego, and I don’t do that anymore. I read this transmission to Sarah on the plane, and immediately she began writing too. It’s been a few days of sorting through the uncomfortable (but not unsafe, for us) truth of what is happening in the world and how we are holding our community of Holy Women through tragedy. Sarah’s transmission will drop at noon eastern today.

At this moment, I don’t have an answer, a conclusion or a proclamation to share yet. And we know that it is very risky to open this type of dialogue without a commitment or a plan. And, the Unhinged transmissions are here to crack us as individuals all the way open. We vowed to share what comes through as it comes through. And we will hold ourselves to that promise. 

If you, like me, operate in a freeze response when life feels too overwhelming, I want you to know that we can work through that. I’m going to do everything I can. I hope you will join me. 


If you missed our messages in this series you can read them here:









Unraveled, part one

Unraveled, part two

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